Huff Po – The Straits Times, an English-language newspaper in Singapore, is reporting that a 24-year-old maid there has been charged with putting her menstrual blood in her boss’s coffee. The crime reportedly took place last August at his apartment in Choa Chu Kang, a town in west Singapore, according to Channel News Asia, an English language news outlet based in Singapore. The maid, who goes by the name Jumiah, had been an employee of the 38-year-old man for approximately one year, Asia One reports. While it may seem off-putting to many, the use of menstrual blood is common in folk magic in some cultures, according to Catherine Yronwode, co-owner of Lucky Mojo Curio Company and the author of “Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic: A Materia Magica of African-American Conjure.” Yronwode said that the practice is found in the folklore of many Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cultures. An online forum on Lucky Mojo called “Menstrual Blood Questions and Answers” has nearly 500 posts, many of them discussing how to use menstrual blood in food and drink. “It can be used to seduce and enforce fidelity,” she told The Huffington Post by phone. “It’s not exactly a coercive spell. This is kind of like pheromones.” Yronwode was, however, surprised to hear that a maid would use a “spell” like this on her boss. “This is not something you’d do to get a raise on a job,” Yronwode added. “This is something you’d do to get a sexual connection.”
I just spit out my menstrual blood coffee, and I wasn’t even drinking any!
Listen Jumiah, and you listen good. It doesn’t take period’ing all up in some dude’s coffee to seduce him. You don’t need to cast a tampon spell or lure him with your maxi pad pheromones. Just offer to blow him. You’re already a Singaporean maid. Basically one step above a whore. If you wanna bang your boss, you can probably just be like “Do you wanna bang me?” Its that easy for chicks. Guys are a whole different story. If guys thought the could summon spirits and conjure up some pheromone black magic by fucking with girls’ coffee, we’d be jerking off in every cup of java out there. Every coffee would come with extra cream and sugar. But chicks don’t need to go to that extreme.
So the lesson, here, ladies – and its one that I really thought could have gone unspoken – is that you don’t need to bleed into our coffee to woo us. The best part of waking up is definitely not having period blood in your cup. Just ask next time.