YNet - Size does matter? A Kfar Saba woman was badly beaten by her 23-year-old boyfriend after ridiculing his penis size in front of his friends. The suspect has been detained but denies the charges against him. The young woman arrived at Kfar Saba’s Meir Hospital Saturday night bruised and in pain. She was also having trouble walking and standing up. Based on the bruises on her body, doctors at the medical facility concluded that the woman was assaulted and reported the case to police. After being questioned by police officers, the woman told them she met her boyfriend several weeks ago. She said that he was infuriated after she made fun of his penis size, arrived at her home and assaulted her. According to the woman’s account, the man punched her, pulled her hair, brought her down to the ground and kicked her. As result, she suffered serious bruises and eventually headed to hospital after the pain became unbearable. Following the woman’s complaint, police launched an investigation and arrested the suspect on Sunday. The man denied the charges against him and was expected to face a court hearing soon.
Listen I’m a realist. I know I’m not packing. She knows I’m not packing. And my friends know I’m not packing. But you know what? Thats all unspoken. No need to make it spoken. Its not like I run around town thinking that I’ve got the world duped into thinking my dick is 10 inches long. Not like I think they all call me Mandingo and then the moment she opens her mouth my reputation is ruined. Not at all. But that being said, they don’t think I’m walking around with a 2 inch pecker either. Once a girl makes a claim about your dick size or your sexual performance, its exaggerated ten fold in the rumor department. And you know the most fucked up part of it all? Unless your girl has just seen a billion dicks, chances are she’s making her comparison based on her girlfriends accounts of their boyfriends penises. Which are probably 150% exaggerated as well.
Like for instance when I was in high school this chick called this dude a minute man. Said he was the most premature ejaculator shes ever been with. Turns out dude was perfectly average and this bitch just didn’t really know what average was. I’m sure her friends told her their boyfriends last all night long and give them multiples till the sun comes up. I’m sure half of them were lying, half of them have boyfriends wearing those dick numbing condoms, and maybe, maybe, one of them was a tantric yoga sexual stallion. But the fact that half your girlfriends lie to you and say their man lasts 60 minutes doesn’t mean that my 7 and a half minutes of Quality Not Quantity is anything to turn your nose up at.
Well its the same story here in Kfar Saba with this Palestinian dick-size talk. Just because all the Arab women in the village tell you that their husbands have a dick as thick as the Koran doesn’t make it true. So before you go assuming that my dick is below average and you’re gonna go gossip to all my Kfar Saba buddies, just remember 2 things: 1) You don’t ever hear me gossiping about your Gaza Strip, and 2) After Synagogue I am going to beat the shit out of you. Think about those two things long and hard before you spread rumors about my dick you little gossip queen.