3News – Zoophilia comes from the Greek words for “animal” and “friendship” or “love”. Animal love. Now an American man has written a book about it – a first-hand account. We all love dolphins, from Flipper to Opo – they are a friendly face to the human race. But Malcolm Brenner, had a friendlier relationship than most. In 1970, the photographer embarked on a 9 month sexual relationship with Ruby, a captive female dolphin. He has now written a book about the experience called Wet Goddess. Mr Brenner spoke to Nightline from his Florida home. Below is the transcript of our conversation. DF: Thanks for your time. How did this whole thing start? MB: She began raking her teeth lightly against my arms and legs which was indescribably erotic. Some might find it frightening, I found it erotic. DF: Now in your book, you talk about how that led on to you two having sex. A lot of people would say that’s wrong, what’s right in your mind about what you did? MB: What was right with it is that the dolphin initiated the whole sexual thing. As I mentioned, she was in isolation – she’d be using me to satisfy her sexual needs. The relationship lasted nine months. When Mr Brenner went to college – Ruby passed away – possibly due to a broken heart. “I’d warn anyone who’s in a relationship with a dolphin. You have to plan an exit strategy,” says Mr Brenner. Mr Brenner believes around 15 percent of the world’s population has had sexual contact with an animal. “If you believe the statistics, something like one in every six men and one in seven women has had sexual contact with an animal,” he says. “How many of those involve dolphins I do not know.”

I’ve seen a lot of confident dudes bag a ton of pussy in my life. I’ve seen alpha males and frat bros who just plow through chicks with reckless abandon and convince themselves that they are God’s gift to women. Overflowing with arrogance. Cocky as all hell.

But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so cocky they claim that they were doing a dolphin a favor by raping it. Its not like Malcolm Brenner was the high school quarterback and he threw the fat chick a bone and took her to the prom and made her feel special. Did her a favor by making her feel popular for the night. No. Malcolm Brenner was fucking a captive dolphin. Getting his rocks off inside a porpoise. All the while claiming that he was actually doing her a favor and she was using him to satisfy her sexual needs. That, my friends, is swagger. Thats cocky. Been had dolphin swag.

I love this guy’s words of wisdom about dolphin fucking too. Warning that everyone should have en exit strategy. Dude makes it sound like he’s hooking up with an ex girlfriend. You know when your buddy starts hooking up with his toxic ex again and you’re like “Don’t go down this path dude. There’s no good end it sight.” Thats what Malcolm Brenner is warning against except, once again, we’re talking about sticking your dick inside a dolphin. And his statistics are amazing. 1 out of 6 men and 1 out of 7 women have had sexual contact with an animal. Dude pulled imaginary stats out of his asshole like he was KFC trying to argue that the Jets are the best team in football.

PS – Wet Goddess is the most creative and accurate title for a book about fucking dolphins that I have ever heard.