Notre Dame official statement:

On Dec. 26, Notre Dame coaches were informed by Manti Te’o and his parents that Manti had been the victim of what appears to be a hoax in which someone using the fictitious name Lennay Kekua apparently ingratiated herself with Manti and then conspired with others to lead him to believe she had tragically died of leukemia. The University immediately initiated an investigation to assist Manti and his family in discovering the motive for and nature of this hoax. While the proper authorities will continue to investigate this troubling matter, this appears to be, at a minimum, a sad and very cruel deception to entertain its perpetrators.

Dennis Brown
University Spokesman | Assistant Vice President

This story is so unbelievably whacked I don’t even know what to say about it. Ordinarily I’d throw up a blog immediately giving my take but there’s so much shit in that Deadspin report I’m still figuring it all out. I think part of the problem is the fucking names. Everyone in the story has a name like fucking Kaleidoscope or Lenni Lenape or some shit. Can’t tell who’s who or whats what. Its like a goddam daytime soap opera story line, to be honest. Like not only was there a fake death, but they even through in a fake car crash for dramatic effect too. Just the most bizarre sports story I’ve heard in a long long time since the last news story about the Jets.

There will be plenty of blogging to come regarding this shit but for right now lets discuss what’s worse -

Being the scumbag who created a fake dead girlfriend hoax for publicity, OR, being such a fucking loser you were the victim of a fake dead girlfriend hoax? I mean obviously this statement from Notre Dame and this cover up by Te’o is such complete fucking garbage and borderline insulting they expect anyone to believe it, but lets take it at face value – which would you rather be known as? I think I’d rather be known as the diabolical asshole who tricked the entire world than the fucking dweeb who got Catfish’d and duped into thinking he had an internet girlfriend.

PS – This is like a blogger’s DREAM. Its like everyone has the green light to make dead girlfriend jokes with zero repercussions. All the jokes you wanted to make about Manti Te’o's closet homosexuality are now fair game. You can say whatever you want now and nobody can call you a scumbag because no matter what there’s a bigger scumbag out there who made up a fake dead chick. Its a blogging miracle.