After MNF’s 666th game last night – Mark Sanchez – #6. QB Rating of 66.6. TDs – 6. Interceptions – 6. Longest pass of the year – 66 yards.
So here I am today seeing these numbers pop up on Twitter and every sports blog and I’m thinking to myself, if Mark Sanchez made a deal with the Devil, he made the shittiest deal of all time. Like who makes a pact with Satan to be the most mediocre quarterback of all time?
But thats when I realized the deal he probably made was to fuck Eva Longoria. Mark Sanchez sat down with Lucifer himself and agreed to a deal that included a lifetime of crappy football in exchange for a life of banging a the sexiest, spiciest Mexican woman on the planet. And in return God sends in his son in the form of Tim Tebow in an effort to end Sanchez’s career altogether, hoping Longoria leaves Sanchez. All in an effort to prove that the power of Good is stronger than Evil. And also prove that Mexicans just always finish in last.
Seems to make perfect sense to me.