Just a nice little pick me up today after Barstool U came along and crashed all our servers for the day. No cute tricks here just flat out stone cold SI Cover models. Never thought there would be a time that I was killing Marisa Miller but so goes Marry Fuck Kill. Sometimes you go toe to toe with the hottest woman on the planet and my flame-of-the-moment Brooklyn Decker. I’d marry Bar over literally anyone else you put in these matchups so that part is easy. And after I spent 20 minutes watching that Adam Sandler trailer in slow-motion-fast-forward mode taking screenshots of Brooklyn’s tits everyone knows I’m fucking her. So sorry Marisa but even legends have to die sometimes.
Marry: Brooklyn Decker
Fuck: Bar Rafaeli
Kill: The Other One
Lets call a spade a spade, this was more a battle between Brooklyn Decker and Bar Rafaeli and we just threw in a third smoke. The fact that Marissa Miller is a throw in and instant Kill in my mind is a testament to how hot Brooklyn Decker and Bar Rafeali are.
Doesn’t it feel like Bar Rafeali and Brooklyn Decker fucking hate each other? I have absolutely no idea whether thats true. They could be best friends, they could not know each other at all. But to me, it feels like Rafeali and Decker are smokeshow rivals that would rip each others’ hair out if you locked them in a room together. Just all sorts of raging Sports Illustrated Swimsuit jealousy as they compete for the cover year in and year out. Tons of pent up hatred every time they see each other featured as kmarko’s Guess That Ass. Its like the Yankees vs. Red Sox but with perfect tits and phenomenal asses. I would pay literally any sum of money to watch these two fight.
So the beauty of it all is, you can basically flip a coin. Because all you gotta do is let the one you marry know that you fucked her heated rival in the past, and she’ll do anything to make sure she fucks you better. I’m giving the nod to Brooklyn. After seeing her in the trailer for the new Adam Sandler movie, I need more than just one shot at that smokestack.