Chicks From The Office
Important Note: Voting is on characters, not actresses.
At the start I was all about marrying Pam. Just a cool chick with my type of sense of humor who is easily pushed around and would be deathly loyal. But then I thought about how I actually saw what happened to her when she got married. Demanding a sales position, trying much harder to make jokes, talking over Jim in the interviews, becoming much more assertive. I don’t like that one bit. In fact Pam is more annoying now than anything else. Plus she used to fuck a guy in the fucking warehouse. Nice standards bitch. Kill Pam. Now where I’m stuck is with who to marry. Because I want to fuck both Karen and Erin. But marriage-wise Karen is way too bossy and Erin is way too annoying. So which poison do I pick to grow old with? Getting annoyed by a ditzy idiot? Or getting bossed around by an ambitious power hungry broad? Yup I’ll marry Erin. Just tune her out not to mention I could cheat on her spacey dumb ass easy as pie.
Ah yes, the chicks from The Office. Definitely one of the funniest television shows of the past decade. Now to be clear here, We are doing Marry Fuck Kill for Pam, Karen, and Erin, not the actresses Pam vs. Karen is a timeless debate. Now if I were Jim Halpert, we all know I’d obviously choose to marry Pam and fuck Karen. But guess what folks? I’m not Jim Halpert. Not only would I not marry Pam and then knock her up, I would murder the shit out of her. She just thinks she’s so funny all the time. Girls aren’t funny Pam. Plus NOBODY wants Roy’s sloppy seconds. Now go make me some copies before I murder you.
That narrows it down to Karen and Erin. I don’t know what it is about Erin, but I want to do terrible things to that dopey little receptionist. Its probably because I’m attracted to dumb chicks since they are easier to trick and deceive. But whatever the case I would slam Erin right on the conference room table. Which leaves me to marry Karen Fillipelli. Give my kids a chance at not being translucent with that dark skin of hers.
PS – To be perfectly honest, if I had my way, I’d pick Phylis over all three of these broads. You remember that episode where she fucks Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration in the restaurant bathroom for like 2 hours? Heavens to Betsy. Phylis would rock my dick.