WHDH-TV 7News Boston

Huff Po – Move over Shroud of Turin, there’s a new theological tarp in town. What looks like a paint-stained cloth to some is nothing less than the glorious image of Jesus Christ to others. A Massachusetts man says that when he recently looked at a drop cloth he’s used for years for house-painting he found the image of the Christian messiah exiting a tomb staring back at him, WCVB reported. “It’s not something that was intentional. It’s totally wild,” Brian Krantz of Saugus, according to Wicked Local Saugus. “It leaves me speechless.” Krantz, 38, is a former altar boy from the Irish Catholic stronghold of South Boston. Earlier this month, he unfurled the cloth to prevent any mess during another job when he came face-to-face with the godly image, WHDH reported. The Christlike figure is 4 1/2 feet tall and 3 feet wide. The sacred sight was so staggering that Krantz and his buddy decided to take an early lunch, he told Wicked Local Saugus. “I can’t deny this,” Krantz said. “This is what it is. It looks like Jesus Christ.”

We are getting really really generous with the “Jesus’ face found in…” stories. The media absolutely fucking loves these stories. “Jesus’ Face Found In Burnt Toast.” “Jesus’ Face Found In Spaghetti Stains.” Any given day you can find these stories on the internet. The thing is, they used to actually look like him:

That pan and that bread and that crab look like Jesus fucking Christ. This Masshole and his drop cloth over here have gotta be kidding me. Where the fuck is Jesus? I see two eyes. And a chin. That makes you Jesus?? I see fucking Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Kmarko said he saw the old Winter Warlock from Santa Clause is Coming To Town

Aint no Jesus in that drop cloth, Masshole. I mean we’re not talking about looking up in the clouds and saying which animals we see. There’s gotta be some standards for Jesus Faces. How bout this asshole in Ohio who said he found Jesus in bird shit on his windshield?

For sure not, dude. How about “Jesus appears in the window of the Hard Rock

Just a dirty window.

Have some respect for yourselves, for Jesus, and the pizza he may or may not be appearing in. Unless there’s a clear face, beard and hair of Jesus, just eat your toast or clean your window or throw out your drop cloth.