Sun TimeA group of women who spurned the romantic advances of a group of men early Thursday on the Far South Side fled after the men shot at their car and flung bottles at them. Four men approached the women and tried to pick them up about 1:20 a.m. Thursday in the 11900 block of South Harvard, Chicago Police News Affairs Officer Amina Greer said. After the women rejected them, the men vowed to unleash a “tsunami” of gunfire on them and shot at their car as they drove away, Calumet District police said. A 26-year-old woman in the car was shot in the shoulder and the driver was hit in the head with a bottle. No one is in custody early Thursday, police said.

I’ve been rejected more times than you can imagine. I liken my career of hitting on chicks to a game of Duck Hunt. I’m the ducks floating out there and the women are holding the gun, pressed up against the screen, just blowing me out of the air left and right. And their girlfriends are that big stupid fucking dog that laughs in my face.

And every time it happened I wanted to straight up punch a bitch in the face. Just one punch the fucking shit out of her. I’ve thought about smashing bottles on their head. Thought about whacking them across the back with a pool cue as they walked away from me.

But never did I ever think about unleashing a tsunami of gunfire on chicks for not liking my pickup lines. That must have been some serious rejection. Not just your old “I think I’m gonna go hang out with my friends” now routine. That must have been like “I would give you my number except you’re fucking ugly and I bet you have a small dick and it looks like the only woman who’s ever loved you is your mother” sort of shit.

So whats the moral of the story here, ladies? The moral of the story is just give guys your number. Is it really so hard to give out your number? Just don’t respond to any texts or calls and he’ll get the point and then its over. But for that moment at the bar, if you just throw him a bone and give him your digits, three things happen:

1) You don’t come off looking like a total bitch. You look friendly and fun.

2) You may have made some dudes night. Sometimes getting a chicks number is like a small victory for a guy

3) You won’t be consumed by a tsunami of gunfire.