Sorkin is a Goddamn genius. Tess is his ace in the hole as far as smokes on the show goes, and that sly bastard keeps us wanting more. I completely forgot she was even a cast member until someone on Twitter reminded me- the girl is NEVER on camera. But it only adds to her allure. Those quick 3 second shots of her handing a piece of paper to Maggie or conversing with Slumdog Millionaire, and all these feelings I’ve had for so long come rushing back. As quickly as she appears, however, she disappears with the same swiftness. Just an absolute power move by Sorkin to stash such a fine piece.
As far as Sloan goes, apparently the entire world knows about her except for me. Here I am thinking she’s the hidden gem of HBO, but I hear KFC blogs about her all the time. In my defense, I don’t read KFC’s blogs that often, as I’m a fan of good grammar and comedy. But even if Barstool devoted a daily time slot to Sloan, it wouldn’t do her justice. Her permanent “fuck me” eyes, coupled with her witty banter and her combination of sex and intelligence makes her the easiest “marry” I’ve ever seen. No shot she doesn’t cheat though. She oozes infidelity.
Maggie was kind of a throw-in on this one. It was between her and MacKenzie for the third spot, as the drop-off on this show from the top 2 smokes to number 3 is staggering. I’d be shocked if it’s not a unanimous slaughter of that ditzy geek. I’m so sick of her bullshit with Jim. Do you know how much it hurts to have the girl you love play stupid and try to set you up with one of her friends? She knows exactly what she’s doing as she drags Jim by his heart through the mud of her on-again/off-again relationship with Don. Back burner city. No regard for Jim’s emotions at all, which is really fucked up because I’m pretty sure he’s autistic or, at very least, has Asperger’s. And it’s not even like she’s hot enough to pull this shit. Something is seriously fucked up with her eyes. I don’t know if they’re too close, too far, sunken in, popping out… her face changes every episode like Rorschach in Watchmen. What I do know is that she looks exactly like the dude from Family Guy that Peter must draw.