When Galileo said the earth revolved around the sun and everyone laughed at him, do you think he cared? No. Because he was like “I’m the smartest motherfucker on this round, spherical earth that revolves around the sun. I don’t care what all the dumb people say.” Well thats me this year with the MVP vote. I know what the right choice was. Just because a bunch of old ass voters said otherwise doesn’t mean anything.

Truth be told I got no problem with Miguel Cabrera winning the MVP. People think I hate him just because I was on Team Trout. For sure not. Any other year it woulda been a landslide victory for Miggy. It just so happens Mike Trout had one of the best seasons of all time. It also happens that I have a brain and understand the true value of baseball players. But hey! Whatever! I’ll wake up tomorrow on this flat planet earth that is the center of the universe which God created and it won’t be any skin off my back.

PS – I honestly think whoever named Sabermetrics “Sabermetrics” is to blame for the world of baseball being so behind the times. It sounds so nerdy and stupid that all the old dinosaur writers are like “saber-what! Whats this new fangled sabermetrics? Whats the internet?” and it makes them so against it. Shoulda just called it “Stats-that-take-everything-into-account-metrics.” Damn you, Bill James.