This is right up my fucking alley. Its like the Senior Golf Tour for dudes who used to play hoops. Everyone knows I’m horrendously out of shape. No chance I could hit the hardwood and enjoy myself playing 96 feet on regulation hoops. I’d look like Oliver Miller out there or Shawn Kemp after his 19th kid. Just fat and slow and huffing and puffing hoping to cherry pick a layup here and there.

But not in the MHL. Shorten that shit to like 50 feet and set up the 8 foot hoops and lets fucking ball. Its like Game Genie but for real life. Never really doing any sprinting, there’s just not enough real estate to run that face. Not much jumping, not much defense. Sounds like my kinda sport!

And while I know most of the appeal on Mini Hoops is being able to dunk even though you’re just a 5 foot 11 nonathletic white boy, but not for me. Nope. I like stroking jumpers on the mini hoop like I’m Rik Smits. Just like a nice and easy set shot from the top of the key or elbow extended. In the MHL those are like 9-12 foot jumpers and I am money from that range. Like I’d probably go 24-24 in a regulation MHL game. Don’t even think I’d dunk, just to make a point. Just drop the ball in the hoop like Lew Alcindor at UCLA when they banned the slam dunk. Remember folks, 2 points is 2 points in the MHL. I’m not about the glitz and glamor.