Rear Admiral recently called out a special breed of turds whose lives peak when they manage to get the back of their heads on TV for a split second. I’ve got another one for you RA – these numb nut extras who think they’re the most interesting part of the post game interviews.
You see these clowns everywhere. Sometimes it’s a group of pre-teen wienies giggling and blushing like they’re at a damn middle school dance. Sometimes it’s a group of drunken fans celebrating a win by staying in the stands and cheering on the victorious interviewee. Last night, it was the jack ass simultaneously talking on the phone to someone watching him on TV.
Guess what, Guy? Only two people in the world think this is cool and funny – You and whatever dingus friend you have on the other line. Everyone else in the world thinks you look like a tool. Here I am trying to listen to a bonafide talking “Moose” break down his second 1-0 shutout in 3 games, and all I can think about is how Barry Melrose and Al Gore’s lovechild is apparently the only Devils fan in the middle of Dallas. Hey buddy, do us all a favor. Take that thumbs up and shove it where the sun don’t shine.
*Thanks to Ian for the tip.
As referenced above, the Devils 1-0 win over the Stars takes them to 16-1-2 in their last 19 games and only 9 points out of a playoff spot. The improbable run has everyone from Carolina down to Florida shaking in their skates, but as one realistic Devils fan recently told me – “Yeah, I can’t wait for them to finish 9th”. Their recent surge is making the “trade away your captain” move look like pure GM genius – maybe the Rangers can follow suit and trade Chris Drury instead of just sending him to the glue factory like so many are hoping.
The Isles have been on an offensive tear as of late but lost a close one to Toronto last night, despite the fact that Leaf’s rookie goalie James Reimer was suffering from nausea and indigestion. “I was feeling pretty sick during the first period and start of the second, too,” Reimer said after making 28 saves. “I wasn’t feeling very good. I thought I was going to vomit right on the ice”. Funny, Isles coach Jack Capuano felt the same way as he watched his team go 0-3 on first period PPs against a goalie that was literally shitting himself.
The Rangers won a huge game last night in a shootout over Carolina. The #7 vs. #8 match up was critical for both teams, and truth be told, the Rangers would have been lucky to walk out with just 1 point. Leading by a goal going into the third period (which is a rarity for the offensively challenged Blueshirts), they gave up 2 to the Canes in the first 7 minutes. Apparently, the Rangers are really used to coming from behind (that sounds bad) and prefer to only play hard in third periods when they trail by a goal or more. Wotek “Pride of Poland” Wolski sealed the two point pick up by netting the tying goal and shootout winner. However the game’s most memorable moment came when Eric Staal, the Carolina Caveman himself, knocked his younger brother Marc out of the game with what appeared to be a high elbow to the head. It was the most heinous example of brother-on-brother violence since the infamous Sam Sweet trial of the mid ‘90s.