TMZ – This might be the CRAZIEST THING that’s ever happened to Bam Margera … and that’s saying a lot — the “Jackass” star claims a naked chick broke into his house last night while he was sleeping … and started masturbating on his bedroom floor. According to law enforcement sources, Bam told police the 24-year-old woman woke him up in his Pennsylvania home by kissing him — completely in the buff — and Bam freaked … throwing the girl off him and dialing 911.  And here’s where it gets really insane — according to law enforcement sources, while Bam was on the phone with cops, he claims the girl dropped to the floor and started to masturbate. After Bam hung up, we’re told he kicked the girl out of his house — still completely naked. West Chester police tell TMZ, they arrested her nakedness in the rural area surrounding Bam’s mansion.  According to the criminal complaint, she faces charges of burglary, criminal trespass, and stalking.

These fuckin Jackass guys. They’re filthy rich. International fame. Not a care in the world. And now they got chicks breaking down their doors to masturbate in front of them. All because they shove toy cars up their assholes or shit in toilets in hardware stores or beat up their fat fathers all while doing some kick flips. Fuck these guys! And thats coming from a dude who’s probably only one step above these clowns and these stunts. The fact that I get a free beer here and there and a little bit of recognition for blogging about jerking off and stuff if probably just as nauseating to some people. But until I have naked chicks breaking down my door double clicking the mouse in front of me, I can still say fuck the Jackass guys.

Don’t get me wrong though, the early days of Jackass was absolutely hysterical. Paved the whole way for the Youtube Era of viral comedy. But that should impress idiots like me – not crazy masturbating ninja chicks who wanna fuck. Just goes to show how stupid chicks are – any chick who throws herself at Bam freakin Margera just proves that chicks will always give up the pussy for the famous bad boy, no matter who it is.