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Huff PoThere were an unusual number of skid marks in New York City Monday — and not just on the streets. A world record attempt in Times Square for the largest gathering of people in just their underwear failed miserably. In honor of National Underwear Day (Aug. 5), FreshPair.com, an online underwear retailer, attempted to see how many panties they could get bunched up in midtown Manhattan. It was hoped that there would be enough participants to break the previous Guinness World Record for “Largest Gathering Of People In Their Underwear.” However, when each boxer, brief, jockey short, bikini, g-string and thong was counted, the judges found only 779 people in their undies, far below the previous record of 2,270 set in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA, on September 24, 2011.

So the goal was 2,271 people in their underwear gathering in the 9th Circle of Hell. 779 people showed up. Probably because Times Square is the last place on earth a person ever wants to expose vulnerable parts of their body. But let me just run you through the top 2 highlights of National Underwear Day in New York:

This chick and that ass:

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9 out of every 10 people at these “underwear day” things are fucking abhorrent. But theres always one that you’re like “Wow, that smoke was actually willing to just walk around in her underwear, huh?” Well thats this chick. At least from the back she is.

And this dude and his whole being:

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In my mind, there are 2 ways to live life. You either crush it in real life and you’re big time successful. Or, you’re such a disaster you come full circle and end up crushing life in an ironic manner. You know what I mean? Either you’re a 10 out of 10, or you’re such a zero you become a fat, disgusting monster and you don’t give a shit to the point you come back out the other end and you’re still a 10 somehow. Thats what this guy is. You either crush life or get crushed by life, and this guy has been crushed and he’s a Bizarro 10.