NJ.com – It’s more contagious than HIV/AIDS, a sweeping epidemic with the power to turn women’s genitals blue. “Blue waffle disease” deserves the city’s attention, Councilwoman Kathy McBride said at a City Council meeting last night. During the councilmember comment period of the meeting, McBride said she received a concerned call from a city man asking what Trenton was doing to combat “blue waffle disease,” and said she hoped health and human services director James Brownlee could provide her with more information on the mysterious disease she had never heard of. “It’s already claimed 85 lives and there’s a case here in Trenton,” McBride said. “It is a virus that is 10 times greater at this point than the AIDS virus.” In fact, it appears that McBride fell victim to an internet hoax and April Fool’s Day prank. “Blue waffle disease” is considered an internet urban legend, a fake sexually transmitted disease said to tint women’s genitals blue. A graphic image of a woman supposedly infected with the disease has circulated on several websites. “There is no disease known as ‘blue waffle disease’ in the medical world,” Dr. Amy Whitaker, an assistant professor of obstetrics/gynecology at the University of Chicago Hospital, told the foundation. “There is no disease that causes a blue appearance on the external genitalia. I had never heard of this until you wrote to our section…and asked about it.”

Ahhh. Blue Waffles. If you know what Blue Waffles is, this is hysterical. If you think blue waffles are just blueberry eggos, you’re not gonna understand. Blue Waffles is one of the new age classics of gross shit you find on the internet.  Uploaded in 2008. I only found out about it like last year. I don’t know if I’m late to the party or if most people are like me and didn’t know about it until relatively recently. The Power Rankings of Classic Internet Gross Outs are as follows:

6. Blue Waffle – A mouldy, mangled diseased vagina. The thing is, if you do a Google Image search for Blue Waffle, you get a bunch of pictures of actual waffles that are blue or pictures referencing the joke surrounding Blue Waffles. To find the real picture, you gotta do a little bit of research. Not a lot. But theres enough of an opportunity for you to say “You know what, never mind. What am I doing looking for this anyway?” So if you’ve seen the real thing, you gotta question yourself a little bit. I know I did.

5. Meatspin – A tranny riding a dude’s dick while his/her dick helicopters in circles. I was hesitant to include Meatspin. Its not nearly as “gross” as the other things are. Its more of a surprise/shock value. And downright hilarious. The counter showing how many spins you’ve watched combined with the music is hysterical. Changing your roommate’s homepage in college to Meatspin or sending him a hyperlink on AIM with a fake title to trick them into getting Meatspun is one of my favorite internet pranks ever. Again, its not quite in the same class as these others, but not including Meatspin on this list would have been a travesty.

4. Lemon Party – A bunch of old Asian dudes blowing each other. I think this was the first time I realized Asians were into some weird, weird sexual shit. The worst part about Lemon Party isn’t even the guy blowing dick. Its the two guys open mouth kissing. That legit grosses me out more than the blow job.

3. Goatse.cx – A dude stretch his ass wide, WIDE open. Disgusting. No humor to be found in this one.  Just absolutely abominable. The only thing I ever got a kick out of was the dude who carved his pumpkin to look like goatse.  Other than that, Goatse is one of the worst things to happen to me.

2. Tubgirl – A girl in a tub with her legs over her head shitting out a fountain of diarrhea which lands squarely in her mouth and on her face. Tubgirl checks in at the #2 spot for me out of sheer legacy. She was the first thing I saw on the internet that made me scream in horror. It was a time when all I knew on the internet was “a/s/l” and still .jpegs of tits. Then I saw Tubgirl and I was like “Ohhhh I get it. This internet thing is gonna be the place where I see depraved shit that will haunt me until the day I day.” I was so innocent before I saw a girl shitting on her own face. Real or fake, Tubgirl was one of the originators in gross internet shit for me.

1. 2 Girls One Cup – 2 girls shitting and vomiting into each others mouths, drinking said vomit and shit out of one cup. The undisputed champ of gross internet shit. It combined the scat fetish of Tubgirl with the sexual depravity of Meatspin and Lemon party. I think to this day I only made it about 17 seconds in. Couldn’t stand anymore. The world became a worse place after 2 Girls 1 Cup was released. And it will never been the same. Before 2G1C, if you asked the the world “Have you seen a girl shit into another girls mouth?” the majority would answer no. After 2G1C, millions upon millions of people will say yes. And thats not a good thing.

*Note: I’m not including Pain Olympics where those dudes chop their own dicks off. I don’t know why I’m not including it. I’m just not. Its either fake, or if its real I just dont wanna discuss a man chopping his nuts off with a hatchet

Honorable Mention: Cake Farts – Girl sits on top of chocolate cake and rips ass. “You know what I like the most? Cake farts” is still, to this day, one of the funniest lines ever spoken. Actors reciting Shakespeare can’t even touch that. Its why I didn’t include it in the original list. Its more funny than gross.

(I am sure there are many, many, many more gross things on the internet. But bear in mind this is a list of all the classics from rotten.com and whatnot. The original disgusting shock value internet power players)