I’m not gonna do, what you all think I’m gonna do, which is just make fun of these Jersey Girls. Contrary to popular belief I do have some sort of moral code and making fun of harmless girls having some fun on Youtube actually violates this code. I know its hard to imagine I have a set of rules I follow after everything I’ve said and done but I’m like Dexter.

What I will do is use this as a jumping off point to make fun of people from New Jersey who desperately defend their home state. All my dumb Jersey friends always say the same thing. “Oh yea sure, New Jersey smells! New Jersey’s the armpit! You all say the same thing but how come every summer you come flocking to our beaches??” “I live 20 minutes from the beach. 20 minutes from all the best beach bars. You mad bro?” Hey dickheads, you know who says the same exact shit? People from Long Island. You like them? You wanna be compared to Long Island? How bout Long Island? You wanna be compared to Jersey? Because you all say the same exact shit. Ask a person from Long Island if they wanna live in Jersey and they’d spit in your face. Vice versa, same thing. Yet the only arguments you have to save your respective homes are identical. Hilarious.

Bottom line is, both Long Island and Dirty Jerz are right with their arguments. Every summer, I like to come to your respective towns. I pollute your beaches and booze at your bars. Then I go home to civilization when I’m done. You’re both like a cheap hooker I rent for a few weeks a summer.

PS – I’m looking for a Manasquan house. I know I’m late in the game but anybody who’s got some pull in that department or can hook me up, holler at me. kfc@barstoolsports.com