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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A woman said an Albuquerque grocery store employee offered her a sample of yogurt that may have actually been bodily fluid, according to police.Police haven’t released many details about the incident.The grocery store employee who gave the woman the questionable yogurt has been arrested on an unrelated felony warrant. The employee was identified as Anthony Garcia, 31.Police said the incident happened at the Sunflower Market on Coors Boulevard and Alameda Boulevard on Tuesday night.A woman said Garcia asked her if she would sample a new yogurt at the store. When she tried it, she told police that the so-called yogurt tasted just like bodily fluid.

How awkward of an exchange must this be when this chick first goes to the police? “Officer this man just tricked me into eating his bodily fluids.” “Well how do you know it was semen, ma’am?” “Well because I suck a lot of dick, officer.” Have fun delivering that deposition.

Second of all, if some Mexican bagging groceries offers you a sample of yogurt and you eat that shit, you get everything coming to you. Actually, just In general, if anyone says “hey sample this yogurt” your first thought should be “there’s at least a 75% chance this is actually semen.” Similar to when you eat the free Chinese food samples at the food court at the mall. You know full well as you grab that toothpick that you are about to chow down on some monkey meat or some cooked rats. You know what you’ve signed up for.

Words to live by folks: Don’t eat the yellow snow. Don’t eat the sampled yogurt.