“Whoa”

Daily Mail — Going on a date can be a nightmare for the best of us. But now a pair of ‘social X-Ray’ glasses promises to tell you exactly what the other person is thinking – and when you should stop talking.  The glasses have a built-in camera which monitors the other person’s facial expressions and matches them up with 24 known features which convey emotions. It will then tell the individual via an earpiece and lights on the glasses what their date is thinking. In a traffic light-style system, a red light means negative, amber means they are moderately interested and green means your date is happy. The prototype works thanks to a camera the size of a grain of rice which is put into the glasses frame and connected via a wire to a small computer which can be attached to the user’s body.  The camera monitors how long and how often 24 ‘feature points’ appear on the subject’s face which are then analysed by software developed by the MIT team.  This data is then compared with a bank of expressions and the computer tells the wearer what is going on via the earpiece and the traffic light system.  So far the glasses are still a work in progress and have been accurate just 64 per cent of the time, a figure which is expected to improve with further tests.

Where was this when I was single?  These things are fucking great.  I got my Google Plus invite yesterday, I got my Iphone now, throw in a pair of these new social x-ray sunglasses, I’d be the hippest cat in town.  I know, fish in a barrel.  Bro, 64% is pretty good.   That means 2/3rds of the time you can tell if a chick wants to bang, which was the one part of dating I could never quite master.  You know many times I’d be out to dinner with a broad thinking “Yeah, she totally digs me.”  Then by the time I walked her home she’d already be back together with her ex-boyfriend.  Happened once, happened 1000 times.  Then the opposite would also be true, I’d be like “This girl fucking hates me” and then her buddy would email me the next day asking why I didn’t take her back to my apartment.  It’s always mixed signals.  But not anymore with the new social x-ray sunglasses. Genius move if you ask me.   Green light = bang, Red light = the night belongs to Youporn.  PS – New invention idea: the anti-social x-ray sunglasses. It’s just a pair of sunglasses.