NYDN- A Central New York district attorney has finally ’fessed up about his past in dirty movies. Prior to this year’s election, Democrat Marc Suben denied appearing in 1970s skin flicks, telling reporters he was the subject of a campaign by political rivals who wanted to sully his reputation. But Friday, CNYCentral.com published a story highlighting a YouTube video comparing Suben with porn actor Gus Thomas, whose IMDB film credits include “Deep Throat Part 2” and “Doctor’s Teenage Dilemma.” Suben swiftly called a press conference and “humbly” apologized to those he had deceived. He admitted to using “bad judgment” both by appearing in adult films in his youth and by lying about them as a public official. He was first elected in 2008. “I was shocked and embarrassed to be confronted with this so many years later,” said Suben, who has also served as a judge. “I was embarrassed for my family and friends who stood by me. I also denied my actions to my family, my friends and my staff.” Suben is also the former president of a Cortland synagogue. He declined to say whether he plans to resign.  Suben’s spokeswoman, Aimee Milks, said Suben will not resign. ”This was nearly 40 years ago. It was not illegal. Mark Suben was not yet married. He was not practicing law and he was not a law student,” Milks said. “It has nothing to do with his law practice or his current position as the district attorney of Cortland County.”

Marc Suben you dog you! I ain’t mad at this guy one bit. You know what the worst part is about politicians and these people who work for the government? They’re so goddam fake. Like Mitt Romney trots his ass up to the podium and says he’s never had an alcoholic beverage and I instantaneously hate him. How the fuck can I possibly relate to a dude like that? They’re like fuckin robots. Not even real humans. Like a cardboard cut out.

Not Marc Suben AKA Gus Thomas. Dude is about as real as it gets. Like put it this way – if you were in your 20s or 30s in the 70s and you weren’t acting in porn, then you’re the weirdo. If you didn’t rock a bushy stache and weren’t getting deep throated by really tan broads with perms, then you can’t be trusted. Because as far as I can see there was absolutely no reason not to do that. The Pill had been invented, AIDS hadn’t hit yet. Everyone was hairy and horny and it was just the perfect storm of reasons to fuck people on camera. So I, for one, don’t think Marc Suben should resign. I think he should get promoted. Maybe run for Governor. I don’t like that square Cuomo. He was probably jerking off to Gus Thomas in the 70s.

PS – I would bet my life that Chris Christie has some sort of hidden past as a wrestler on some local independent circuit in New Jersey. Just like the Principal from Billy Madison.