This is absolutely insane. Insane. Nobody has ever been robbed more than Nina Agdal. Kate Upton with back to back SI covers is an absolute travesty. Do you see her gut on this cover? I honestly think my stomach might be sexier than that. And thats AFTER airbrushing! Thats the best Sports Illustrated could do. They were like “Holy shit we picked a fat chick for the cover! What the fuck are we gonna do now? Ah airbrush as best you can and then we’ll just put her in a snow jacket and hope for the best.”

Unbelievable. And don’t you fucking DARE say something about her tits. Yea, we get it. Kate Upton has big tits. Big fat floppy tits. So do a ton of other chicks. Plenty of girls with big tits that don’t have fat stomachs.

Woof:

PS – Commenters are saying how in years past I was all about her and are wondering why I call her fat now. Uhh, its pretty simple. She gained like 40 pounds

Its not that she’s horrendously ugly, its just that people put her on the cover of Swimsuit issues and treat her like shes the most amazing supermodel of all time. Shes just not. Shes a chunky chick with big tits. Lets call a spade a spade.

Now cue the music for the real SI Cover girl: