Everyone knows I don’t give a shit about hockey. I enjoy hopping on a bandwagon and riding the wave of partying and celebration. But, this Devils-Rangers series is different. No, not because of ’94 and the New York New Jersey rivalry and all that loser hockey shit. I’m excited for Osgood vs. Gumdrop in the battle of Barstool Hockey Bloggers Nobody Gives A Fuck About. Tale of the tape:
Strengths: Writes New York Rangers blogs. Plays the drums in a band. Wears wooden sunglasses.
Weaknesses: Nobody reads his blogs. Nobody listens to his band. Wears wooden sunglasses.
Strengths: Embraces his fatness. Has an absolutely killer nickname for a fat guy.
Weaknesses: I’m not sure if he’s ever gotten off of that couch. I can hear him getting fatter.
Its a heavyweight (literally) bout that I hope goes 7 games. I could use to useless idiots fighting back and forth to make my days a little bit easier. Right now, if I had to guess, Gumdrop is the fan favorite to win this battle. Thats because of two things – everyone loves a fat guy, and Osgood’s vocabulary is just a little bit too sophisticated so Stoolies always just tell him to eat shit and die. Osgood is probably the early favorite in Vegas because he’s representing the #1 seed Rangers and also since hes the only actual Barstool blogger involved hes the only one with access to the website.
Gentleman, get to your corners…Round 1…FIGHT!