KFC is off today. He’s celebrating MLK day or whatever. I’m covering today and ya know what? I’m fucking depressed. Because I’m a Patriots fan from Boston and I want to murder/suicide anyone who fucking talks to me right now. I don’t care that this is Barstool NY. This is Barstool JMacIsAboutToKillHimself today. Not gonna put on a smile and fake some act like I don’t hate life. Make no mistake about it… I hate life right now.
But lets find some common ground, you and me. Lets help each other get through today. If you’re working on MLK day then you’re probably kinda miserable. And if you’re me and have to entertain a bunch of shit-talking New Yorkers who run their mouths without a team in the playoffs, then you’re miserable too. So here’s something we can both agree on: Ray Lewis is the most disgusting person in the history of the universe.
We all saw him cry for the cameras during the national anthem last night. We’ve all listened to him talk about god forever. We all know he got away with murder. He induces vomit in any self-respecting person. He’s despicable. He’s gross. He’s a fucking horrific excuse for a human being. And the fact that we all have to listen to him spew his vile for another two weeks is sickening. We can all agree on that.
And the network that we all worship, the one that brings us the majority of our entertainment, sucks Ray Lewis’ dick like it’s going out of style. ESPN sucks the dick of a lying murderer. FUCK Ray Lewis. FUCK ESPN. Oh, and FUCK those two whiny, hardo, tantrum-throwing Harbaughs who I hope both get the flu and die so I don’t have to listen to the nauseating “brothers” Superbowl storyline. And while I’m at it, one more. FUCK YOU GOD. You are one piece of shit asshole lord if you let a killing, stabbing, lying-under-oath scumball like Ray Lewis beat the classiest team in the league and get his balls washed by a TV station that I need to live.
Anyway, happy Monday guys! Lets joke and laugh and stuff right!? HAHA.
If the blogs stop coming at any point today it’s because I went and found what’s under the sink. You can send your condolences to my Twitter: @TheJustinMac