The SunProstitutes have been invited to a care home to have sex with disabled residents — sparking an investigation by the council.
Hookers regularly go for “special visits” at Chaseley nursing home in Eastbourne, Sussex. They meet residents in a special room and a red sock is put on the door handle so staff know not to disturb them. Bosses say many physically and mentally disabled people have no other sexual outlet – and become so frustrated they often resort to GROPING staff. Care workers say the “sex surrogates” are “therapeutic” and experts claim they are a ”basic human right”. But East Sussex County Council has launched an urgent investigation into possible “exploitation and abuse” of vulnerable people. Sue Wyatt, Chaseley’s manager, has confirmed prostitutes are welcomed at the home and said they are ordered by a “third party consultant”. Mrs Wyatt said: “People have needs, so sometimes we might need to set up a room in a certain way. We are there to help. “We use a private consultant who arranges everything. They are an independent person who works in the home. She puts people in touch with people. “We respect our residents as individuals so that’s why we help this to happen.” The practice at the home was revealed by its former manager Helena Barrow. She said: “The fact is sex workers are allowed by law to sexually enable people but care workers are not. “So, if someone asked, we would often call in a professional, someone trained to do that. It’s known as the resident’s ‘special visit’. “If you have a resident who is groping staff, one way of resolving that problem is to get a sex worker in who is trained to deal with that situation.

Can I go to live in a nursing home right fucking now? I mean whats the qualifications to get in there? Do I have to wear diapers and shit my pants? Because I’ll wear diapers and shit my pants. Because nursing homes, specifically the one where they call whores for you, are fucking wonderful. You basically have a team of slaves who wait on you hand and foot. Don’t have to pay rent. Probably just spend all day playing games like shuffle board and card games. Its honestly a lazy man’s dream. Its like college for old people who aren’t interested in living life to the fullest, i.e. me.

And thats before you sprinkle in the booty calls from hookers. Its basically like summer camp – hang out all day, play games, meet some new friends, and hook up with chicks you’re never gonna see again. I can just see it now.

11am – Price is right
12pm – Lunch
1pm – Shuffle board
2pm – Connect 4 tournament
3pm – Uno
4pm – Booty call with a hooker
5pm – Dinner
6pm – Dessert and bath time and shit
7pm – Jeopardy
7:30pm – Wheel
8pm – Another booty call with a hooker
8:3opm – Lights out.

Sign me up!

PS – I am not jealous of the hookers who have to work the nursing home circuit. Thats gotta be like the rookie hazing assignment, right? All the top notch call girls are spending nights at the club with billionaires partying and the new probie hookers have gotta go blow the dude with polio at the old folk’s home. Gotta earn your whore stripes and start real, real low on the totem pole.