NY PostWhen Patrick Carone, 35, clicked on the e-mail announcing plans for his friend’s bachelor party, he was expecting a blueprint for a sordid Vegas jaunt, or perhaps a steakhouse bash in NYC, with a bevy of beauties on the side. Instead, he was invited to “join us in a relaxing weekend of fishing, light hiking, even barbecuing!” Carone, who is admittedly “more of the traditional-bachelor-party kind of guy,” was crestfallen. He frantically scanned the e-mail again for the words “strippers,” “steakhouse” or “Vegas,” but only found “hike,” “upstate NY” and “bug spray.” To be fair, the guys did manage to take shots, sort of: The group fired off shotguns at clay discs for two hours, leaving some of the guys with bruised shoulders — and egos.  “A bachelor party is a rite of passage for guys,” protests Carone, the entertainment director at Maxim. “When else can a group of guy friends cut loose like this, in what is the last free pass society hands us?” But Carone is fast becoming part of the minority — and he risks being left behind at the strip club, thanks to a shifting mindset among men who cite a “been there, done that” mentality, financial fatigue and a new distaste for raunchier activities that don’t fit into their lives. In a June poll by wedding Web site the Knot, more than half of the female respondents reported that their fiancés are planning low-key affairs for their bachelor parties — activity-oriented celebrations or a simple dinner and drinks. “The cliché that all bachelor parties need booze and women is quickly becoming extinct,” says Chris Easter, founder of the go-to site for grooms, the Man Registry. “They’ve got the college lifestyle and partying out of their system. Their interests have changed, and they don’t require a night of binge drinking to say goodbye to their single life. It means that a dinner with friends is an ideal alternative to doing 15 shots of whiskey and not remembering the night.”

Well, I guess you can call me old fashioned. Because I want a stripper’s butt grinding on my dick, tits in my face, and booze in my system. I wanna see ping pong balls popping out of hookers and birthday candles being blown out by various orifices. I don’t care how much I party from now until I’m getting married, that shit will never “be out of my system.” That is my system. My entire system is made up of wanting to do that shit.

These guys who wanna go camping and skeet shooting and hiking and fishing can cut the fucking bullshit. Just admit that your fiance strictly told you no strippers and no partying and that this is your plan B. That is the last shit on EARTH I’d ever wanna do. Theres no way any red blooded man would rather sit down to a nice dinner and then play some bocce ball or some shit as opposed to raging with his friends at the club. And I’m not even a big strip club guy. But the fact of the matter is your bachelor party is supposed to be one of the most memorable nights of your life. You’re supposed to walk out of there with absurd memories of not only what happened to you, but what happened to everyone in your whole crew. Some classic shit that takes you back to your college days because, as the article suggests, that shit probably is out of your system and you don’t do it anymore. One last throwback night not only for you to enjoy yourself – but for your friends to enjoy you – before your wife steals you away for all eternity.

Don’t fucking spend it telling ghost stories in a tent with your buddies because you went camping like a fucking Boy Scout.