Yahoo – Parents in New York are raising their eyebrows at the latest after-school activity offered for their children: unsupervised play time in Central Park for $350. Lenore Skenazy, a former journalist who has championed the “free play” movement, cheekily launched the after-school program to try and encourage parents to let their children to play without structure or supervision. ”I’m always trying to figure out ways to get kids back outside playing with each other,” the mother of two told ABC News. “It’s a great thing that has sort of evaporated from the American landscape.” ”And New York City is used to paying money for things so that’s the money thing,” she added. Skenazy, who authored the book “Free Range Kids” and writes a blog of the same name, said that she noticed when her two sons, who are now 14 and 16, were growing up that children were never just outside playing. Fears of kidnappings and other dangers have led parents to keep their children indoors or enroll them in structured after-school activities, she said. ”I’d say go downstairs and play and they’d look out and say no one’s there. Even on sunny days. It distressed me so much because I was positive there were kids looking out windows in buildings opposite ours telling their moms that there is no one out there to play,” Skenazy said. Free-play, as Skenazy calls it, allow children to learn how to negotiate social situations on their own. ”In a child’s case, it’s how you learn to cooperate, to pay attention. Is the ball coming to your square in Four Square?” she said. “What is lost if we don’t give our kids freedom to play, to be on their own, to believe that they’re okay on their own without constant supervision? There’s the confidence, the focus, and the joy. Versus diabetes and obesity.”

Oh really? Playing outside is good for kids? Who knew! What a fucking radical concept! I think I’ve officially left planet earth after reading this article. It almost seems like something that would be published on the Onion. It really does. A New York City mother running around like she patented “playing outside.” Acting like she should win Nobel Prize in psychology for coming up with the notion that kids playing outside can be good for their growth and development. And other asshole parents paying her $350 to take their kids to the fucking park like they can’t do that on their own.

Seriously what planet am I on? “Fears of kidnappings and other dangers?” What the fuck are we talking about?? Are we in Colombia or something?  My favorite quote is “And New York City is used to paying money for things so that’s the money thing.” “So thats the money thing” AKA I’m charging dumb, rich parents for absolutely nothing. Its like they’re treating this woman like shes a dogwalker. $350 bucks to drag their kid down to Central Park and let them run around and do whatever the fuck they want. What a scam.

This is a scary time people. The pussification is almost complete. Stories about parents not letting their kids outside to play used to be the headline news. Now, thats become so common, some chick encouraging kids to play is such a rare, foreign concept, thats the story thats grabbing people’s attention. Sickening. Kids need to play out side. They need to climb trees. Need to fall on the pavement and skin their hands. Need to look up girls dresses on the monkey bars. Need to play I’ll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours in the tube slide. And you don’t need to pay some JAP mother 350 bucks to do that.