YahooWant to own the Iron Throne from “Game of Thrones”? You can travel to the fictional land of Westeros, sack Kings Landing, and kill its current occupant, Joffrey Baratheon. Or you can click over to the HBO store and pay $30,000 for a very nice replica. The latter way is probably easier, if a little less brave. Also: Winning the throne in battle will make you the envy of all your friends, and putting it on your AmEx will make you look like a dork with rich parents. Kind of like Joffrey. HBO says no one has stepped up to claim a throne yet, but the replicas just went on sale Tuesday. And, yes, the network says this is real.  Each throne is made to order, but does not include a cushion. So what does $30,000 get you, exactly? Here are some specs: Height: 7’2 Depth: 5’11 Width: 5’5 Weight: 350 pounds Made of: Hand-finished, hand-painted fiberglass. Fire-proof resin. Granted, that’s not as impressive as the original throne, which, according to legend, is made of a thousand swords that were hammered into a chair over 59 days. But the fire-proof resin will be helpful if anyone from Winterfell tries to burn down your apartment complex to seize your awesome new seat. You might also want to pay off some sadistic guards to protect your investment, and help you get it into the U-Haul next time you move.

In this life, there are wants and there are needs. And plain and simple I need to blog from this thirty thousand dollar throne. Just sitting atop the Iron Throne drinking donut flavored vodka blogging about blindos and Asians like the King of Bloggers that I truly am. Meanwhile kmarko and Feitelberg and all the rest of these Barstool losers are blogging from The Wall. Hey fags good luck trying to whip up a Guess That Ass with White Walkers descending upon your fucking faces! I’ll be chillin on my throne of a thousand swords.

I’m not even a big Game of Thrones fan. I started watching the first season and never really got hooked. I just Googled all those terms so I sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Should I give it a second shot? Like is it one of those shows you gotta give a little bit of time to get into, or are you supposed to be hooked from the jump? Because if thats the case, it might just not be for me. Its weird because I usually like all those kinds of stories about mythical medieval times and kings and queens and fantasy worlds. But for some reason I just never made it all the way through season 1. So I guess what I’m saying is, sell me on this. Tell me why I should give this a second shot and get back into it. I don’t wanna be the only dickhead who isn’t watching Thrones but I’m also not gonna watch it just so I can be in the loop.