NYDN - Screams and panic engulfed a commuter rail station Monday morning when an ascending escalator changed direction and started to head back down, causing some people to jump off mid-ride. A spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which operates the station, said five people were injured when the escalator malfunctioned around 9 a.m. at the Exchange Place PATH station in Jersey City. Three were taken to the hospital as a precaution, according to Port Authority Spokesman Ron Marsico. None of the injuries was considered life-threatening. They ranged from back and neck pain to scrapes, bumps and bruises, Marsico said. Nick Lukish, of Brooklyn, N.Y., said he was headed to work and was midway up the escalator when the moving staircase started going down. ”There was a stampede at the base of the escalator,” Lukish said. “People started to panic and yell and scream, and I saw some people jump over to the down side of the escalator, so I jumped.”

Hilarious. This video sums up Cubicle Life perfectly. Monkeys erupting in sheer panic because the escalators changed directions. So pre-conditioned to do the exact same thing every single morning like a bunch of fucking lemmings they can’t handle anything changing. Now don’t get me wrong, I know how crowded the PATH exit and entrance can be. I understand that if an escalator switched directions there would be a big pile up at the bottom and some people could fall over. But the guys dangling from the middle banister like they were hanging on for dear life? The people screaming “Stop!”? Marching upwards against the stairs to try and still make it to the top? Its the morning commute! I must make it to my desk! How will we survive! WHY GOD WHY??

Its a goddam moving staircase folks. Just turn around and ride it as if you were on the down escalator. If the Cube Monkeys unite and stay together you can learn to make it through tragedies like the PATH Station Escalator Malfunction