NY Post – Thou shalt not steal porn off the Internet seems to be a commandment some residents of Vatican City choose to ignore. The tiny city-state within Rome that houses around 800 people doesn’t exactly have the highest downloading levels in the world, but that hasn’t stopped some of its residents from swiping files starring the likes of female porn stars Sheena Shaw, Lea Lexis and Krissy Lynn, according to TorrentFreak.com. Additionally, someone within the Catholic Church’s headquarters also likes the work transsexual superstar Tiffany Starr. The XXX-rated activity was found out because IP addresses from Vatican City downloaded pornographic torrent files. Torrenting is a form of file sharing similar to the now defunct Napster, except that unlike Napster there is no central information hub for torrents. This decentralized system has become extremely popular with fans of illegal downloads because it is harder for authorities to crack down on. Besides downloading porn, someone in Vatican City also enjoys American TV shows like NBC’s “Chicago Fire,” ABC’s “The Neighbors” and FX’s spy drama “The Americans.”

You know what the most appalling part of these downloads? “The Neighbors” on ABC. You ever seen that show? Its an abomination of television entertainment. As a Catholic I’m more upset at the notion of New Pope watching that shit than I am of him watching tranny porn. The Pope is flesh and blood just like the rest of us. And any mortal man this day and age has found himself stumbling upon some tranny porn. You go down the rabbit hole on Youjizz and click on video after video and next thing you know you’re watching some seriously kinky shit. You didn’t even really want to. You start off watching like “threesome with 2 hot girls” but a few clicks later you’re watching Futanari videos. When it comes to internet porn you’re only like 6 clicks away from some seriously depraved shit. Like Kevin Bacon but with repulsive pornography. I’m not above that. You’re not above that. The Pope is not above that.

But the Pope is most certainly above The Neighbors. Have some respect for yourself. Have some respect for Jesus.

PS – The Pope is probably also above the German BDSM. German porn is so fucked I won’t watch it. So the Pope and everyone else at Vatican City probably shouldn’t be watching that either.