Jezebel – Have you found yourself saying, “Who do I have to blow around here to get gas?” in the wake of Hurricane Sandy’s fuel shortage? Maybe it was a rhetorical question, but Craigslist has some literal answers. In a market of low-supply and high-demand, enterprising individuals have taken to the classified site to advertise their willingness to switch over to a new bartering system: ass for gas. It’s become increasingly difficult for people in New York and New Jersey to find gas to power their cars or generators—pumps are not working due to lack of electricity at some stations, while others have simply run out. The stations that do have gas are experiencing lines that sometimes go on for several blocks, with police directing traffic. It’s so bad that a black market for gasoline has popped up. But if you want to avoid the price gauging and long lines, there are people onCraigslist’s Casual Encounters who are offering gas in exchange for sexual favors. The postings are by people who have gas (“GAS GAS GAS HERE….Wanna Trade – m4w“), people who need gas (“I NEED GAS !!!! IF U BRING ME GAS U CAN FUCK ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – m4m“), people who homebound and bored (“Who’s staying in because they have no gas? Get head instead.“), and people who are just using the opportunity to make a good pun (“MoRniNg GaS PumP – w4m“). 

“MUSCLE DUDE to SUCK you & WORSHIP YOUR FEET NOW FOR YOUR GAS” Apparently Rex still can’t get that gas.

You never really realize how much you take certain things for granted until its gone. I never think twice about gas. I guess its a combination of being in Manhattan and being spoiled that its always available if you need it. But a couple days without it and you got the whole internet ready to suck dick for some gasoline. My personal favorite is ”I NEED GAS !!!! IF U BRING ME GAS U CAN FUCK ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Short and to the point. No clever puns. No catchy rhymes. Just a supply and demand, fair trade description and a bunch of exclamation points to emphasize the severity of the situation. Somewhere theres a gas station attendent who is getting more ass than he ever imagined.