UKAbuse and violence against alternative subcultures, including goths and punks, will now be recorded as hate crimes by one police force, it emerged tonight. Greater Manchester Police (GMP) is thought to be the first force in Britain to treat public offences against “goths, emos, punks and metallers” in the same way as they do attacks based on race, religion, disability, sexual orientation or transgender identity. Currently courts only consider hate an aggravating factor when sentencing on the five factors. Last year the Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone acknowledged  it was an “incomplete list”. Manchester officers cited the death of Sophie Lancaster in August 2007 as part of the reason for the new approach. The 20-year-old was kicked to death in Bacup, Lan-cashire, for being dressed as a goth. Her mother, Sylvia Lancaster, said the development was a “validation of the work we have undertaken in the past five years”. She added: “Hopefully other forces will follow GMP’s lead.” The Sophie Lancaster Foundation is campaigning for hate crime legislation to be expanded to include “alternative subcultures or lifestyle and dress” across Britain. GMP said the change would enable officers to give more support to victims, but warned it would not necessarily lead to tougher sentences. “People who wish to express their alternative subculture identity freely should not have to tolerate hate crime,” said Assistant Chief Constable Garry Shewan.

That’s everybody, right? Blacks, jews, fatsos, midgets, trannies, homos, senior citizens, cross-dressers, retards, blindos, females, goths, emos, punks…have we left anybody out? I think these were the last couple of groups needed to officially cover everybody worth hating under the “hate crime” umbrella. Which means, when this makes its way to America, we will have come full circle. Everybody’s a hate crime, so now it’s just regular old crime again. We can go about our business assaulting whoever we feel like and know the consequences will be the same. Like the good old days. That’s just how the world works, I guess. We transition from old & outdated to new & cool until old becomes cool again. Nothing is safe from hipster ways. Not even beating the shit out of hipsters.