HP - Pope Benedict’s first tweet from @pontifex came today reading: “Dear friends, I am pleased to get in touch with you through Twitter. Thank you for your generous response. I bless all of you from my heart.” The Pope’s tweet has already been retweeted close to 30,000 times. He then followed up with two more tweets that asked: ‘How can we celebrate the Year of Faith better in our daily lives?’; and answering: ‘By speaking with Jesus in prayer, listening to what he tells you in the Gospel and looking for him in those in need’ His first three tweets all came within a couple of hours. Looks like twitter followers might be hearing a lot from the Pope.
I’m so sick of The Pope. Particularly this Pope. This Pope sucks. JPII was kinda like your grandpa. Cruising around in the Popemobile, always lookin like he was asleep. Looked like the kinda guy if you ever met him he’d pretend to pull a quarter out of your ear. Now we got this Pope Benedict up there who can barely even walk. He’s old as fuck and I’m pretty sure he was a Nazi growing up right? Not my kinda Pope. And now he’s on twitter with a million followers sending out stupid tweets about prayers and shit. Hey Pope nobody cares! I’d rather you live tweet your day so that we know exactly what a Pope does on a day to day basis. Because I bet you being Pope is the easiest shit ever. I bet you his tweets would be as pointless as mine. One tweet in the morning about going to mass. A tweet at lunch like “Truth be told I don’t think it’s a sin to wear condoms because of God, it’s a sin because you can’t feel anything and they smell funny.” Follow it up with “Time to spend the next 3 hours relocating altar boy molesters” and then go to bed at like 4pm because he’s old as shit. I’m telling being Pope is such a joke. Only hard part of your job is when you go to Mexico City and get swarmed by like 10 million people. Mexicans fucking LOVE the Pope.
PS – cant wait for the first Pope twitter scandal when he accidentally tweets out something he wanted to DM. It’s gonna be a dick pic to the Queen of England being like “From one super rich and powerful person that doesnt really do anything to another, thought you’d wanna see His Holy’s Hog.”