Gothamist – A preschool is shutting down after allegations of sexual activity between students were reported. Richard McCarthy says his 4-year-old son received oral sex from a 5-year-old girl several times as a student at First Lutheran Church of Carson School, according to ABC 7. At least one other boy at the school reported that the girl had done the same thing to him at the school in Carson, California. McCarthy told ABC what his son told him: “It went down in the classroom, it went down in the bathroom and it went down out on the playground.” Now McCarthy and the parents of three other students are filing a lawsuit against the school and church, alleging that their students weren’t being adequately monitored. The suit, which the attorney says will be filed tomorrow, claims that there were times when school aides were literally sleeping on the job. “It all boils down to a lack of supervision,” attorney Greg Owen told ABC News. “There were times when teachers would let aides in the room for hours at a time to watch the kids. During naptime, the aides would be sleeping and the children would have been molesting each other during this time.” The school announced that it is closing next Friday, and it gave parents two weeks’ notice. ”The two boys that have been introduced to this feeling that they don’t know how to process are still looking for it, and trying to make it happen,” McCarthy told ABC 7. He added, “There’s no way I can just take him to another school and be that parent that just lets a predator loose. How else do you explain it?”

Jiminy fucking cricket! I can’t remember too much about preschool but what I do remember pales in comparison to this little whorehouse. I vaguely remember having a “cubby,” snack time, nap time, and shitting in my pants. Not sure if I was snoozing through the dick sucking or we just missed that all together but I can say without a doubt I’m jealous.

But you know who I wanna hear from in this story? All the fathers. I want to hear the First Luthern Church Preschool Dick Sucking Scandal in the words of all the fathers. Because I can promise you you’re gonna hear 2 very different versions depending on who you talk to. Like can you imagine whats going through the mind of this 5 year old girl’s father? Bro your life is doomed. Its absolutely over. Just throw that girl in a dumpster and put a bullet in your fucking head pal – because your daughter is sucking dicks at the age of FIVE. Your one goal when you have a daughter is to try to get as many virgin years as possible. You strive for 100 years – a lifetime of virginity. You realistically pray for like 24 of them. There’s a lot of guys out there who only get about 16 years of virginity. You got FIVE dude. Just cuncel your life because – as impossible as it may be to believe this – its only downhill from here.

And then on the flip side you got 2 dads who’s sons come home from school one day and retell the tale of the time they got their first blow task before they even learned to tie their shoes. How the fuck do you react to that?? I’m not gonna be some unrealistic hardo and claim these guys high fived their kids and threw them a Bud Light and started sharing blow job war stories. And you probably gotta worry about your kid growing up a sex offender or something after he’s getting blown at age 5. But do you think there’s some element of primal male pride? Like your offspring is just cocked and loaded already crushing it before he can sing his ABCs. Yea in today’s standards thats some deviant behavior but as a dad you can get a lot worse phone calls from the principal about your kid.

Just ask that 5 year old girl’s father.