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MOSCOW, July 19 (R-Sport/RIA Novosti)Critics of Russia’s extraordinary success at this month’s World University Games need help with their sex lives, President Vladimir Putin suggested Friday, after the country’s record-breaking haul of medals drew skepticism earlier this month. Known for his lack of patience with dissent and liberal use of salty language in condemning critics, Putin took a shot at those who complained the country deployed too many Olympic-level athletes in a competition meant to be restricted to students during the July 6-17 event in Kazan. ”I’d like to advise them to take up sport themselves, and if they have any health issues to go see a doctor,” Putin said at a meeting with athletes who had competed in the games. ”At the end of the day, maybe they should try some Viagra and then life would get better, would reveal some of its vivid and beautiful sides, and they would see the future,” he quipped. Through 12 days of competition at the 2013 Universiade, which ended Wednesday in the city of Kazan, a Russian delegation stocked with some of the country’s top athletes steamrolled its way to a record 292 medals, including 155 gold, another record. (The previous gold medal record of 75 was set by China at the 2011 Games in Shenzhen.) Determined to exert its athletic might on home turf, Russia deployed 673 athletes, the most in the 162-nation field, who won at least one medal in 25 of this year’s record 27 sports.

Now that’s a leader of men. Play sports or fuck chicks. Those are your only options in Russia. Now clearly I’m on to the “take Viagra” portion of my life. Can just close the books on athletics all together. But as long as I fall under Putin’s plan for the future of his country, I can still sleep at night. Its just the most simplistic, most beautiful framework for a nation I’ve ever seen. Fuck or play sports to see what life really has to offer. That is a President and a country that has its priorities in order.

And how about Russia just rolling out like 700 professional athletes to absolutely trounce a competition with a bunch of kids? Just sending their varsity squad out there to beat up on the JV teams of the world. The only type of amateurs Vladimir Putin fucks with is on a Casting Couch.