NOT the football coach.

ESPN - Boys and Girls High School volunteer assistant football coach William Miller has been sacked after he exposed his rear end to opposing fans following an altercation with school safety officers and referees during a game Saturday, according to school officials. New York City Department of Education spokeswoman Margie Feinberg said Miller was terminated by Boys and Girls principal Bernard Gassaway after the incident. “He’s a volunteer, he’s not a DOE [Department of Education] employee,” Feinberg said. “So the principal can ban him from being an assistant coach.” Gassaway would not comment Monday morning but a school official confirmed that Miller was no longer permitted to coach the team. The altercation occurred following a controversial call late in the fourth quarter of Boys and Girls’ 16-6 loss to Campus Magnet in a Public Schools Athletic League game in Queens.

Mooning some people at a football game seems pretty tame these days, no? Like we live in a world where we film people fucking on the dirty floors of pizzerias and that sweet little redhead girl from Mean Girls is shooting heroin with Paris Hilton. Newsflash William Miller its 2010 step up your game. Kids are sexting and fucking like the minute they get out of the womb.  I can go on the internet and find videos of crazy Asian bukakke fests in like 2 seconds. So just seeing 1 bare ass at a football game? Fucking rookie move bro.  Maybe that’s why you’re stuck on JV. Mooning is so mid 90s its like slap bracelets or AIDS.

Don’t get me wrong a well-timed moon is still a great accomplishment. But to do it out of anger or revenge is just stupid. There’s just something too comical about it. And I would know I pretty much had my Masters in Mooning back in middle school. Big at bat in kickball? Boom the cheeks are coming out. My boy is taking a test in class and I’m dilly dallying in the hallway? Kapow full moon. Lunch lady skimping on french fries? How does my ass taste bitch? Like yea its skinny and white and really pale but so what I’m fucking 11 years old. What are you gonna do, tell my mom? Big whup she’ll just look at me with the same disappointing stare I’ve been getting since the 4th grade.

But when you get older and you get fat and your ass gets hairy and farty, you gotta be a little more creative than that. Like jerk off under the bleachers or call the PTA president a cunt or something next time. You gotta shake shit up. There’s just nothing cool or funny about a grown dude’s ass at a football game. Can you imagine if Rex Ryan whipped his fat ass out on the sidelines? Pure chaos. Women screaming. Children crying. Goodell would probably suspend him for life. I guess on the bright side KFC would nail the Guess That Ass the next day. Still doesn’t make it worth it in my book though.

P.S. Take it from someone who got fired from a temp job. You must really suck at what you do if you get fired from your volunteer job.