Long email but read the whole thing to get the full effect

Love the site, you by far are the best blogger on here. Got a question for you but before I get started let me say I am in my early 30′s, married, kids, mortgage, job. I love my wife and I love my kids even more. All the hardos on this site that says thats gay will either end up in the exact same situation that im in not too long from now or they will end up living alone in their mom’s basement. Thats a fact. I was a hardo once too, but then I grew up.

A couple weeks ago I went to an unofficial college reunion. Went and met up with some buddies I haven’t seen in 10-12 years. We drank and gawked at girls half our age. As the night went on and the booze flowed a few of us found ourselves on the dance floor just killing it. Those girls half our age were now our dance partners and we were living the dream. There was no wives giving us the stink eye telling us we had had enough to drink, no babies screaming for a bottle, no 3 year olds running around the house head butting us in the dick and no dead end jobs with awful bosses waiting on TPS reports. Just the boys reliving the past. Other than the one single guy amongst us banging some strange ass it was was a fun but uneventful night. We stayed at a buddies house that lived not too far away and I returned to my normal boring life the following day sporting one of the worst hangovers I have ever had. And to make matters worse the wife was just relentless. “Oh you cant change the babies diaper? Well maybe you shouldnt have stayed out till 3am”. “You don’t like my meatloaf, well maybe you can get that 18 year old whore you were dancing with to cook you dinner in her easy bake oven”. Just relentless I tell you. So, I make it through the day, to the point where I am brushing my teeth at night and I actually look myself in the mirror and say to myself “you did it!!”, like I just found the fucking cure for cancer or something. Lie down to sleep and immediately start having some weird ass dreams to the point to where they are waking me up. As the night turns to morning I have this dream that I am banging one of the girls I had danced with the night before. Shit got hot and heavy real quick. Long story short, I end up busting a nut right then and there. First time that shit has happened since I was like 10. After laying there for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do next I finally get up and start cleaning shit up all while trying not to wake the wife up. But of course, she wakes up and starts asking questions. Hard to hide a big wet spot in the bed so when she asked what happened the first thing out of my mouth was I pissed the bed a little bit go back to sleep. Didn’t think she would buy it, but she just gave me a dirtly look, told me to put a towel down and rolled over.    Honestly I don’t think she really bought it but she washed the sheets the next morning and hasn’t brought it up again and I sure as shit aint bringing it up again.

So, my question to you is did I play this right? Whats worse, being 32 years old and having your wife think you pissed the bed or being 32 years old and your wife knowing you busted a nut while dream fucking some young coed.     “I pissed the bed” is definetly the way to go right?

Jimmy

Welp this is it folks. This is the one. I’ve received thousands of reader emails over the past few years. Each one more pathetic than the next. But this one takes the cake.

A 32 year old man with a miserable job goes out and dances with girls, goes home, has a nocturnal emission and covers it up by telling his wife he pissed the bed.

That is probably the saddest statement I’ve ever written. I’m not trying to kick this dude while he’s down. He’s 32 and cumming in his pants at night willingly telling his nagging wife he’s a bed wetter. He’s got it bad enough. But I just felt I should blog this as a warning to everyone out there. This is what your life eventually will become. Jimmy calls it growing up. I call it slowly succumbing to misery and waiting for death. I don’t know if you can avoid it. I don’t know if its an inevitable transformation.

All I know is that if you cum all over the bed at night, just roll over go back to sleep and clean that shit up in the morning. Problem solved.