Reader Email Guess That Ass – Village Pourhouse Smoke Patrol Girl Possibly Found?
KFC -
Spotted at the village pourhouse during sunday funday. Some random waiting for her friends. Tall blonde girl. She was just chilling next to our booth, had no idea half the bar was staring at her…even the other girls were in awe. Much like Tebow’s performance in the 4th quarter, this can only be described as an act of god.
Enjoy,
Edsy
And the answer is, I don’t fucking know! Send out the Smoke Patrol! And I mean send out every member of it. I want Smoke Patrol planes, trains, and automobiles out there tracking this down. This is the most important Smoke Patrol mission of all time. Operation Cranston commences now.
The fact that the Smoke Patrol failed me in this instance back in December was the worst moment of all time for Barstool Sports. It was the most important mission of all time and we failed. I thought Village Pourhouse Ass Girl was gone forever. The case had gone cold.
But alas! Today new evidence has surfaced:
From: Perfect Butt
To: nyctips@barstoolsports.com
Date: Thu, Aug 16, 2012 at 4:57 PM
I may or may not have been the GTA girl on December 12th in which it was stated that “this is the most important smoke patrol mission of all time”. Can I capitalize off this without showing my face? Not because it’s unattractive, I’m just kind of a big deal hah and the people I see everyday would be very upset.
Perfect Butt
What the fuck is going on here! Is this chick trying to blackmail me with her ass? Thats what shes doing right? Trying to capitalize on those cheeks. And guess what? Its fucking working. I already offered her Blackout tickets in exchange for proof its her and more of her butt. She’s playing hard ball and I’m absolutely getting rolled on. There are times to play Chicken and this is not one of them. Ordinarily I don’t negotiate with ass terrorists, but this chick is holding all the cards with a tush like that.
That ass deserves a Haiku.
get rexisfat on this asap
if shes not gonna show her face, then i think you should set the bar at a bare ass shot minimum, potentially with some clam involved….that may be tough to swing though.
She’s definitely holding all the cards….tight as a drum! I’d quit my job just give her ass a high 5!
alas: interjection-used as an exclamation to express sorrow, grief, pity, concern, or apprehension of evil
Yeah, being that guy. Might as well go all the way and *puts sunglasses on*, say second!
P.S. She’s not going to show her face because she’s wanted for murdering those yoga pants. Smart and with a tush like that, I’m in love.
She wants to capitalize without showing her face…. My god that is the hottest shit, she knows those cheeks are goddess like and she’s a o fucking k with it. USA!
just get me more shots of this chicks ass.. she needs know that we dont care what she looks like..so as the saynig goes.. keep the head leave the hamhocks
We need more boner-inducing ass mysteries like this and less triple consecutive Blackout Rapey Valley promos
now that is promoting rape culture, also talk about late to the party sweetcheeks,
and who cares about her face
does anyone else not really want to see her face, for fear it will ruin the entire illusion of perfection?
she’s def gonna be a lookalike. She has the yoga pants, and a decent ass, and blonde hair and she’s trying to snake you!
“Kind of a big deal”… i want to hate fuck her
I’m sure they would be really fucking upset at you. With an ass like that, if your boss yells at you, you turn and show the goods – all is forgiven.
By her not wanting to show her face she has confirmed she is without doubt a Cleveland Brown.
Great uniform, terrible helmet.
PERFECTION HAS IT’S PRICE. GIVE HER A FREE BALL DON’T LIE TEE. THAT SHOULD DO IT.
She’s got you over a barrel….I want to climb up her inner thigh and set up base camp right by her asshole.
“I already offered her blackout tickets”…I can’t believe she didnt identify herself after that proposition. Holy Shit.
Have her wearing a thong with a drawing of a barstool on her ass cheek. That would be worth at least a free Ball Dont Lie shirt
Give her whatever she wants, but demand pics in a thong if there is no face
Tell her to fart in a jar and mail it BSS office
hey nice walnut cracker
bottom line this is all lies, she’s wearing fucking yoga pants (blue ones, not even the black ones that can sometimes cover for real pants) at a bar in NY and she thinks she’s too big a deal to come out as the ass girl?
She is no big deal, if this is the girl, the only reason she can’t show her face is because daddy bought her car and pays for her apt and car insurance and she can’t whore herself out on the internet, and she has a brother or maybe a boyfriend who will flip out if she’s featured online like this
id let her take a dump on my chest n face if thats what it took to fuck her poophole
You 100% have to show her face if u get pics. You know that right? Like, it doesnt fucking matter what she says. I need to put a face to that ass.
These comments are exactly why she’s not going to show her face.
Hold? I bet she could shuffle a deck of cards with that ass.
She has a head?
this butterface has clearly been doing buns of steel since December 12th and just recently decided that her pooper was considered hot enough to rival the original. Fuck that negotiating noise KFC. Fuck it right in the asshole.
wow! talk about a grade A cranston! cranston like you read about, as the kids would say
We gotta put a face to that ass. Mine
Whoever took the original pic should have gotten a face pic, not that I give a shit.
WHoever took this picture should win the Pulitzer Prize for photography!!!!! I’d go down on my 94 yr old aunt for a week if i could watch this broad shop for underwear!
a diaper dandy
We DO NOT negotiate with terrorist
@youkilising – it’s she plays for the Bengals, not the Browns. Clean it up.
lol, she thinks she’s important. how cute.
I want to smurf the smurf out of that smurfette.
Normally you don’t negotiate with ass terrorists? Hahahahaha Priceless. I also wanna bury my face in her ass and live there forever.
best blog on this site in awhile
Is that the shadow of the t-back or ass sweat? Ass sweat adds Something special too a great ass in yoga pants. Like a free entree at dinner
Unreal ass. This line, however, is ridiculous. “I’m just kind of a big deal hah.” Child, please.
when i first saw this post in dec i got a woody while boarding my flight…very awkward….that is an epic ass FACT…find out whose sweet ass that is cause imma make her my wife!!….or just bust a couple more nuts to her pic…whatever works
Hilarious. After a brief hiatus, KFC is best blogger on barstool again. Move over Kneel!
“Ass terrorist.” Bahahahahahaha!
tremendous dumpster but it looks like she has really broad shoulders. maybe a volleyball player. a lot of those girls have great asses but are kind of mannish. thats why she’s not showing you her mug. because she has a man face.
this is a picture of neil wearing a wig!
A GTA prude who thinks her shit don’t stink. Typical broad. Totally unacceptible.
is that blue paint?
[...] to put a face to the booty and until recently the trail seemed to have gone cold. That was, until a girl claiming to be the one captured in the picture above contacted them wanting to know how she could anonymously capitalize on her infamous booty. [...]
i don’t believe it. no way.