Reader Email – I Need A Guy’s Opinion
KFC,
So my boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and in trying to find the sexiest little thing to wear for him, i’ve come across quite the controversy as to what is the sexiest thing a girl can wear pre/during sex. I’ve asked a few people but none of them have come to a definite conclusion. Naked is not an option because we are talking outfits/lingerie/etc. Here are the top things people have told me..in no particular order…
1. Matching lacy boy shorts with bra
2. Garter belt set with thong under the garter belt and either a corset or bra on top
3. Corset with thong
4. School girl outfit
5. Just matching lacy thong and bra
Now you’re gonna be the final say…which is the sexiest? and if it is none of the above…than what is?
- Molly
Great question, “Molly.” Even though the name on the email account that you sent this from is something entirely different. But lets get down to it.
First thing’s first, school girl outfit is out. That shit was hot when Britney Spears came out in 1998. We’re pushing 15 years ago. That shit is like vintage now. Its about as “in” as chicks having pubic hair. I mean I wouldn’t say no if my girl walked out in a plaid skirt and pigtails. But it ain’t my first choice. Matching lacy thong and bra? Matching boy shorts and bra? Uh, you should be wearing that pretty much every day. Lacy thong/boy shorts and bra doesn’t scream “Here’s your extra special birthday present.” Remember in Old School when Frank the Tank says – “I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they’re silk panties, maybe it’s a thong. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about.” Keep that in mind. You want it to be some really cool shit he doesn’t even know about.
I could probably get down with a corset and thong. That sounds pretty hot. One of those things that puts your tits in your chin and makes your waist like 11 inches around. I just don’t want you passing out after 15 minutes from oxygen deprivation and some cracked ribs. Doesn’t matter how sexy the outfit is on the rack at the store, if you can’t pull it off, its gonna fail miserably.
For my money, I’m going with the classic garter belt set thong and bra. Only because you basically never see the whole garter get up outside of a porno or a strip club. You wanna get that “Oh shit, its ON tonite” reaction from your boyfriend? The more straps and hooks and bells and whistles is the way to go. The stockings and garter and straps is just more bells and whistles that he hardly ever sees that make his usually-bored penis go from 6 to midnight. Like I just googled “Sexy lingerie” and found this:
See that shit? I could get tied up in that trying to undress this broad. Looks like my iPhone head phones after I walk around with them in my pocket all day. Just all tangled up and hooked up from here to there, around the back, across the waist. Looks like her tits and her thong are playing cats cradle with each other. You gotta be an Eagle Scout to get in and out of this outfit. So my vote is the garter-get up with stockings and a thong/bra.
Now Molly, don’t take just my opinion. There are about 200 creepy social misfit blog commenters who will offer their opinion as well.
garter belt and stockings are a must
Who gives a fuck? Just get naked. Also, boy shorts are the fucking worst.
that chick could wear a used diaper and still be hot….but that’s some godawful lingerie.
A butt plug and his favorite player’s jersey.
Strap-on cock.
stick with your birthday suit and an open mind.
“Molly”, it all depends on what you look like. If youre hot, then the garter / thigh high combo is unstoppable with one of those silk mini skirt things that shows half your ass. If youre a pig, you should probaby go with the sweatpants sweatshirt combo… and never take them off.
Thigh-highs & garter fo’ sho. Get one of those see-through nightgown thingies too so he’s got something to take off & “unwrap”. Heels and stockings remain on for the duration.
A+ blog. Also, maybe the best real advice given in the history of the stool.
Get the fuck outta here – boy shorts and thong? fuck that weakness. You pull out something that just drapes your tits/ass and shows more skin in places you’re not used to seeing it – then it’s game on.
Want an opinion… Ok, this is what you do. First, the garter belt and stocking are hot as hell so would go with that. I most warn you with all the straps and how most guys who are intoxicated struggle enough getting the bra to snap off to the point where I used a knife on my key chain before. Now this all depends on if were going out to the bar or is this something like a surprise. If you are doing it at this at the house, wear that and serve him with a steak and his favorite beer. The old saying is true, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. If it’s after the bar, go home tell him your going to fix him his favorite drink and return in the outfit. See the pattern, serve him, then fuck him. Your welcome.
You should wear one of your hot friends. I bet he’ll like that.
200% chance “Molly” is some cross-dressing perv who’s jerking off reading your response the way freaks who can’t get laid go online pretending to be chicks looking for guys.
Just blow him and swallow..problem solved
Rub some Ben-Gay on your clit. It’s really sexy. Swear to God.
LikeButter gets it.
Sounds like your “Boyfreind” is a straight up Homo so I’d say dress like a hunter: Wrangler jeans, camo Flague, and Buck Knife
Well, I could think of three things he’d like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety’s sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
Leave the outfits at home…bring another chick instead
Come into the room with a case of beer, a blunt, and a sandwhich. Put on his favorite episode of family guy, and allow him to watch his show while he eats the sandwhich, smokes the blunt, and drinks the beer all while using your back as some sort of movie tray while hittin it from behind.
Am i right, or am i right?
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Nah the dude who said wear a hot friend is definitely right.
Come into the room with a case of beer, a blunt, and a sandwhich. Put on his favorite episode of family guy, and allow him to watch his show while he eats the sandwhich, smokes the blunt, and drinks the beer all while using your back as some sort of movie tray while hittin it from behind. Am i right, or am i right?
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^Shut the fuck up
THIS IS IMPORTANT: Dont ever say “I’m going to put something on for you” or something dumb like that. That shit should already be on under your clothes so you can go superwoman style quickchange and be ready to go in 8 seconds. Nothing kills anticipation like expectations
Garter belt set with crotchless thong under the garter belt and bra on top
earthworm jim FTW – But in all seriousness, just show up to his office unannounced at 3pm, and blow him in his cubicle. That should suffice.
“Suck his dick, play with his balls, fix him a sandwich, and dont talk so much” – David Chapelle
donnyd357 just covered the only advice you need Molly. Doesn’t matter what you wear, you could be in a snow suit and ski mask just make sure you give a bj and you swallow. Only preparation you need is make sure your hair is tied back so you arent messing with it the whole time.
Make sure your meat flaps are presentable and clean your balloon knot well in case he wants to give you the shocker
Body paint and a sandwich will do pig
mini skirt, heels
throw on a vintage fordham football jersey then hit him with the “butter prank”
A+..@ like butter, always works
Most guys don’t give a fuck about that stuff becuase it is going to end up crumpled on the floor. How about you give him an old fashioned and call it a day, you fucking whore.
Sundress with no panties on underneath.
I just came typing that sentence. The Sundress may be the greatest article of clothing ever created.
no guy is going to say to just about any of the aforementioned items. i would agree with the whole don’t announce that you’re going to change into something for him because its a mood killer and anything crotchless or just plain bare downstairs will be just fine. oh yea, and don’t fucking talk. do your deed and go to bed, leaving him alone with a beer and the baseball game.
A+ Blog. Quality
Hey Molly,
The sexiest thing a woman can do is buy a muzzle so I don’t have to hear about your fucking day
Just blow him, gag a lot, swallow, make a sandwich. Case closed.
Tittie pasties- let him rip them off. hard. and a smiley face sticker over ur puss- scratch and sniff, preferable something fruity. and leave the ass open, to hint at what the deal is, or smear peanut butter on ur ass crack just cuz it would be fuckin hilarious
200 comments…hahaha ya right, in your dreams man. no one reads your shitty blogs. im impressed with the 40 you have gotten
outfits are overrated – let him get balls deep in your cornhole and either let him bust in your ass or go ass to mouth…goddamn i’m hard at work
THIS…
by 2GirlsShortofa3Way on April 25, 2012 at 1:40 pm
A butt plug and his favorite player’s jersey.
stripper boots that is all.
N