lacrosse_lum0

Reader Email

me and my friends actually did this story, wrote it, and even got a picture to go along with it for proof. ws wondering if you could publish it on the site. would love to hear back with some good news. thanks

-Trevor

Beers, Bongs, and Brown Bags at the Brocean

A couple of my fellow Baltimore bros came down to visit me at my brocean bro-pad due to a lax tourney in Ocean City. Needless to stay we start off the weekend punishing beers and smoking the dankest of the dank before hitting the beach to check out all the insecure slam-pieces in bikinis. On the last day of our epic race against liver and lung we decided to go jetskiing. Obviously since were fucking bros a.k.a. the smartest people on earth were not going to pay some bullshit 120 dollar fee to ride around on a jetskii for an hour, so we scan the rental place for a slam-piece when my bro spots her. She walks out of the back and immediately we all start flirting with her asking her bullshit questions like “So where are you from?” After about 30 seconds of this absolute inhumane waste of time we convince her to give us jetskiis for free, and hit the bay. When we get done jetskiing and go back in to gather our belongings, jetskii-girl literally follows us fucking home, a common problem for bros and not so hot slam-pieces. Immediately when we get to our place we start making fun of her and degrading her so she will leave us alone. She even had the nerve to ask me for a beer, bitch please. Anyways, jetskii-girl finds her way out after our endless heckling and the next day when we were baked out of our minds my one bro comes up with the brilliant idea to text her, “Hey can I brown bag you.” After all, her body wasn’t that bad. A few minutes later my bro has this desperate laxtitue slam-piece sending naked pictures. When she finally makes her way back to our bro-pad , my bro is forced to use an empty natty boh case we drank the night before in replacement of a bag. Instant bro-king status. Broceidan king of the brocean would be very proud.

-Trevor

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Oh man.  I’m literally exhausted after reading that email.  Like when you look up “Lax Bro” in your SAT prep book I got to imagine any single sentence from that story is used for the sample sentence:

Lax Bro [laks broh]  -noun Example:  Baltimore lax bros came to visit me at my brocean bro-pad for a lax tourney in Ocean City.

Seriously I’m still convinced we got this email by mistake.  Somebody tell Trevor that BroBible is two doors down.   But in regards to the story I can’t tell if this guy is serious or not?  I mean everything checks out.  The dude sent it from his school email address.  The name, the lacrosse team, the tournament.  It all exists.  But the kid can’t possibly really talk like that right?  He’s just trying to get on Barstool?   I mean I’ve know a ton of lax bros in my day and even they would shun this lax bro.  Just absolute bro overload.  Got to be fake.  But then again, even if this story is fake, at the end of the day these dudes convinced some chick to pose naked getting fucked doggystyle with a beer case over her head.  That’s bro enough in my book.

Anyway vote 1 for this bro is embellishing bro stories and convinced his girlfriend to pose for this or 10 for bros like this really do exist and that slam-piece is getting bro fucked by broseidan the brocean king.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (558 votes, average: 3.78 out of 10)
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