Reader Email – Would You Fuck A Girl With An Eyepatch?
howdy
so im bored at work, creepin hard on OkCupid, and I come across this chic. says she’s from spain, and you can tell she’s got a smokin hot body. but, she’s got an eyepatch in every pic…
so my question is, would you bang out a chic with a smokin hot body and pretty face, even if she wore an eyepatch or had a disfigured eye?
Is this a real life question? Like this is supposed to be some hard dilemma where I really need to analyze the pros and cons and yada yada yada. What you’re telling me is there’s a Spanish smoke whos pretty, has a smokin body, and her only knock is that shes a cyclops pirate who rocks an eye patch? Where the fuck do I sign? I mean have you seen my lazy eye? I should probably be rocking an eye patch myself.
Personally I find it pretty intriguing. The fact that she goes with a classic, old school, black eye patch is pretty sexy. Like I’m sure theres a million discrete more cosmetic solutions these days to being a one eyed monster. Fake eyeballs or stylish patches. But this broad just says fuck it and goes with the Blackbeard The Pirate look. Admirable. Cocky.
I also wanna know what the fuck happened in the first place. Maybe theres a really crazy story that goes along with it. Maybe she lost it in a street fight. Who knows. Could be something wild. Bottom line is if you’re asking me to fuck a really sexy Spanish chick who has eye patch swagger and may have a mysterious and captivating tale of how she became a cyclops, the answer is a resounding “Yes.”
whats the punishment for moving the eyepatch during sex without asking her? death?
100% yes. She probably walked into a plane propeller so I’ve solved that mystery in 10 seconds. Also, you can literally skull fuck her. I actually think the question should be “How could you not bang a smoke with an eye patch?”
P.S. Introduction email absolutely has to have the subject line: ‘Arrgh you doing anything later?”
she’s probably a butt pirate. i’d stick it in her.
Seems like an easy answer so long as the patch is on. But what if it is nasty under there. Like a really disturbing ultra-red, moist hole in her skull where her eye should be? You can’t unsee something like that once the patch slipped.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WmaAl6hPzw
so long as there is a red moist hole somewhere i’m game
beat me to it domley…crossing my fingers there’s a hole behind that patch
I had to stop banging this smoke who had a fake eye due to a childhood accident… true story, couldn’t even look at her cause the fucking thing NEVER MOVED… her constant one normal eye movement made her look like fucking Igor from Young Frankenstein
Well on the binary scale she is a 1, so obviously without a question I would stick it in her. Interesting segway, there’s an absolute smoke bomb in my town like she is easy a solid 9 but, she was born with only 1 arm. Like were talking no arm from the elbow down. She’s beautiful and got an absolute slamming body. She puts out as well. Now, we argue about this all the time does she get points taken off for only having an elbow on one or arm or does she gain points for the stub? Would kind of be awkward fucking a girl, reaching for her arm, grabbing nothing but air, and falling over… At the same time the one arm is kind of a freaky factor and would like to see what happens with that in bed…
Definitely would plunder her booty. as long as she didn’t have scurrrrrrrvy!
If your life has come down to cruising through OKCupid at work you should probably just take what you can get.
hey Stro…I don’t know what kind of sex you’re having but where I come from we don’t fuck arms. I say go for it.
So, wait…is the question “would I fuck a girl who wears an eye patch”. Or “would I fuck this girl with her eye patch” vs fucking this girl who owns an eye patch but isn’t wearing it. Or doesn’t need one, but has one.
Ah fuck it. The answer is yes.
pawts ftw
Cool “segway” stro
i would question the sexuality of anyone who wouldnt
CrosbysBrain busted a load in her eye
Yeah this is an easy yes, even for someone who isn’t completely desperate. But if she pulls off that eyepatch and she looks like one-eyed Willy, I’m fuckin gone.
I’ll bet Halloween really sucks for her.
wouldnt be surprised if shes just faking it cause she wants to meet “someone who wants me for me” not just my looks. never forget, chicks do this shit
With this mexican chich you’d actually have the change to literally SKULLFUCK her. Yes 100%
I wouldn’t fuck a chick with an eye patch OR one whose nose is spread across her face like this one. Double whammy boner killa. Throw in bad hair dye job and you’ve got a trifecta.
blackdude would hit it, and hit it hard, end of story, every one can go home now
easy solution: ask her to role play as a pirate
Hey bro, howd you lose that hand?
i don’t know about this binary system. i have to question it when it allows for eyeless, armless bitches.
as soon as i saw the title of this blog, i knew i had to click. gold.
Definitely Bang her. This makes me think of why does every disgusting cow under the sun look good when you’re at work? Is it work goggles?
All comes down to her body. AAAAARRGGGGH MATEY isn’t even a thought if she has a slammin body and beauty is only a light switch away anyway.
Well the eye patch beats the hell out of that face plate the guy wears on Boardwalk Empire.
screw stro’s binary system..its all about the area code system..First number 1-10=face, second is would you fuck her 1=yes, 0=no, then third number is 1-10=body..so a gross whale is like a 303 and a potential smokeshow is a 718 or higher
How the fuck is 10110 an area code?
are you retarded? you pick a # 1 through 10
fuck,1-9 then..perfect 10s don’t exist in this case
The only girls that have sex with me have 2 eye patches.
The binary scale was created for situations like this…
sunglasses. problem solved.