Remember That NYPD Cannibal Cop Who Planned To Cook And Eat 100 Women? He’s Blaming It All On Cameron Diaz’s Role In “The Mask”
NY Post – It’s all Cameron Diaz’s fault! Accused “cannibal cop” Gilberto Valle told a shrink that he’s “experienced erotic arousal…when imagining women being abducted and bound by others” since seeing the blonde beauty’s 1994 silver-screen debut when he was an adolescent, court papers reveal. That “pattern of arousal appears to have originated with a scene in the movie, ‘The Mask,’ in which Cameron Diaz pretends to be abducted and bound,” Valle’s defense lawyers said of the Jim Carrey vehicle. And while the 29-year-old Valle discovered Internet porn in high school “and was particularly interested in bondage websites,” the Manhattan federal court filing says his taste for cannibalism didn’t develop until college, when he found some porn DVDs that belonged to one of his roommates. ”It was this discovery that led Valle to darker fetish Web sites, including ‘Muki’s Kitchen,’ which was his gateway into cannibalism pornography,” public defenders Julia Gatto and Edward Zas wrote.
Look I don’t wanna exonerate a guy who planned to kidnap, murder, boil, and eat over 100 women. But any red blooded male between the ages of like 25 and 32 knows that Cameron Diaz’s role as Tina Carlyle in The Mask could make a man do just about anything. She’s an absolute knockout in that movie. Like a blonde Jessica Rabbit thats come to life. Long blonde hair, long tight dresses, curvy as fuck. In her older years she kinda became a manly broad with a butch haircut that satisfied Arod’s tranny fetish, but back in 94 she was absolutely spectacular. Along with Jennifer Love Hewitt in Heartbreakers, Cameron Diaz in The Mask is one of the hottest chicks ever.
Now when I say she could make a man do just about anything, I’m not lying. For me, personally, she made me want to masturbate furiously. I was at a fork in the road – one direction was “develop a bondage fetish, eventually ending up living the life of a homicidal cannibal” and the other direction was “I’m 9 years old with one of my first boners ever, as soon as I figure out how to take care of this thing, I’m never going to stop.” So basically Gilberto Valle went left and became a cop and ate human flesh and I went right and became a womanizer blogger addicted to internet porn. 2 very different life paths that all stemmed from one life altering event – Cameron Diaz in The Mask.






I don’t think you know what the word womanizer means if you describe yourself as one.
Jennifer Love Hewitt playing the secretary in Heartbreakers made 10 year old me aspire to have an office with a smokeshow assistant willing to give me blowies on the reg
A+
i can see where the fuck your coming from
Your best blog ever.
Cameron Diaz’s next career move should be to play Skeletor in the new He-Man movie.
After Mask, she started Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
If this is true then Kate Beckinsale in Underworld made me a bath salt Zombie
^yes. Kate beckinsale in underworld. Now there’s a milf.
the hottest she will ever look. sad
Yeah could never quite figure where Diaz went off the rails….to go from like a 22 on a scale of 1 to 10 and then just a few years later and since to paperbag city. Weird weird transformation.
jennifer love hewitt in hearbreakers oh my jebus
Cameron Diaz was my first boner too. Nearly split at the tip like a hotdog thats been in the microwave too long..
Things that made me masturbate furiously in the 90′s. Cameron Diaz in The Mask. Jennifer Love Hewitt in Heartbreakers. Kate Beckinsale in anything. Nikki Cox in Unhappily Ever After. The whole female cast of Wild Things. Kelly Bundy, Peg Bundy…the list goes on.
…and who doesn’t want to tie chicks up? Bondage is awesome. Yes, the chinese try and pervert it with all their tentacle rape and shit but good old fashioned american bondage is a fun damn time….but eating chicks? come on dude, clean it up.
Holy shit diaz was sexy in that movie
I got my first boner to this movie.
um…….whats muki’s kitchen?