MSNBCAccording to new research, women want romance in their lives more than anything else. But they do have a time limit for love. Specifically, researchers found that the average woman prefers to spend exactly 106 minutes on romance each day. Researchers from the University of Bremen and the Georgia Institute of Technology sought to find how the average woman would spend a “perfect day.” Romance topped the list. First comes love, then comes lolcats, I suppose. The study’s authors, Sebastian Pokutta and Christian Kroll, interviewed 900 women with an average age of 38. They asked those women about their daily activities and how they felt about them. The researchers explained: “Our research asks what a perfect day would look like if we take into account the crucial fact that even the most pleasurable activities are usually less enjoyable the longer they last and the more often we do them.” In addition to the 106 minutes of romance, women wanted to spend 48 minutes on the Internet and 82 minutes socializing. Relaxing took up 78 minutes of the perfect day, followed by 75 minutes of eating and 68 minutes of exercise. Women said if they could be completely hedonistic, they would spend 613 minutes with their partner, 103 minutes socializing and 74 minutes relaxing.

Broads have gone completely off the reservation. I mean was this study done while they were busy faking PMS or not? Because this kinda shit just doesn’t even make sense. First of all, this is the real world, not fucking summer camp. Most couples may not even see each other at all for 2 hours a day, let alone have some sort of romantic passionate evening. Secondly, what the fuck does “romance” even mean? Is that just broad talk for you want 106 minutes of us sitting there listening to you bitch about work? Because to be honest if I had to guess what chicks love doing the most it would be 12 hours of complaining about work and 12 hours of complaining about their friends. Romance is the most relative term ever. Especially nowadays. How many real life chicks out there wanna lay in front of a fire eating chocolate covered strawberries while their man reads them poetry or some shit? Like none. Last time I checked all chicks wanted was to be tied up and spanked and abused like a sexual slave. If chicks want 106 minutes of pretending they’re in 50 Shades of Grey, I can promise you men will make time in their schedule for that. But if “romance” just means a night on the couch where you do nothing but give them attention and agree with them for 2 straight hours, well I think then we know why guys and girls don’t always see eye to eye in relationships.

And then the fucking craziest part of this study – on average broads want to spend six hundred and thirteen minutes a day with their partner. Thats fucking 10 hours. I’m pretty sure the only thing I can do for 10 straight hours is sleep or drink. These loony tune chicks wanna spend 10 straight hours just like staring at their boyfriends. Nutty.

Here’s how a guy’s “perfect day” would break down:

9:45am – Wake up. Morning sex til 10am.

10am-12pm – 120 minutes of Sportscenter on repeat with Price is Right sprinkled in on the “Last channel” button while eating breakfast. Hopefully prepared by the woman involved in morning sex from 9:45-10.

12pm-1pm – Shit shower shave. Masturbate in the shower.

1pm-5pm – Drinking while watching sports eating wings.

5pm-6pm – Chill, nap, regroup.

6pm-8pm – Steak dinner

8pm – Night game of sorts (football, baseball, whatever)

Followed by exactly 106 minutes of 50 Shades of Grey “romance.” You get your rocks off while satisfying your psychotic girlfriend’s romance quota.

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