PORTSMOUTHA retired man accused of giving two girls scotch to drink and making them a pornographic DVD waived his right to an arraignment and is scheduled for an October trial. Ronald Ratigan, 69, of 27 Beechstone Apartments, # 3, is charged with a count of “obscene matter/materials” and two counts of prohibited sales of alcoholic beverages. Through attorney John Pendleton, Ratigan denies the charges and waived his right to an arraignment. According to an affidavit by detective David Keaveny, police were made aware of the allegations by a Portsmouth High School guidance counselor. Investigating detective Scott Study interviewed the 15- and 16-year-old girls who said Ratigan invited them into his apartment where he showed them a slideshow he made on a DVD with images of naked adults he referred to as “educational materials.” The girls told police that after Ratigan showed them the images, he gave them the DVD, a laptop computer and other unspecified electronics, according to Keaveny’s affidavit. Ratigan is also alleged to have shown the girls how to review the DVD once they got it home. When one of the girls’ older sister was informed about the allegations, she threw the electronics and the DVD at Ratigan’s apartment door, the police report states. According to police, Ratigan also asked one of the girls if he could perform a sexual act on her. During a May 15 interview, Ratigan was the first to inform police that he’d given the girls alcohol when he said he’d “only” given each a 1/4 cup of scotch and that it was “not a big deal” because he’s like a father figure to them, the affidavit states.

Hey bro how’s your peripheral vision! That dude’s eyes are so lazy they are fucking unemployed. Straight up on eyelid welfare. Just permanently blinking. They’re like two hoods covering the sides of his eyes. Makes me look like a big wide eyed supermodel or something. Looks like fuckin Droopy The Dog

Enough about that, lets get to the real issue here. What fun is retirement if you don’t have anyone to share it with? How much fun can you have with a bottle of scotch and a Power Point presentation of porn if you’re all by yourself? Invite a couple friends into your home and share your elderly wisdom with them. Educate them. Teach them about scotch and porn and blow jobs. Probably would be better if they weren’t underage teenagers 50 years younger than you. But who wants to hang out with other old people? I’m not trying to rot with a bunch of walking corpses in a old folks home one I retire. I’m trying to get my dick sucked by young chicks.

PS – On a serious note, if Ronald Ratigan invites you into his home and you accept that invitation, you know exactly what you’re getting into.