SUGAR LAND, Texas (FOX 26) - Sugar Land Skeeters president Matt O’Brien and Roger Clemens’ agent Randy Hendricks told FOX 26 Sports that Roger Clemens worked out for the Skeeters today and will sign with the team. Hendricks and O’Brien told FOX Clemens will start for the Skeeters this Saturday in Sugar Land. Skeeters officials said Clemens had a full workout today, was clocked at 87 mph and is in great shape.

Its amazing watching an egomaniac disintegrate before your very eyes. Originally I wanted nothing more than for this prickhead to be guilty on all counts and go rot in a jail cell for a few years. But I think this may be better. Pitching for the Sugar Land Skeeters like he’s Kenny fucking Powers or something. Once regarded as one of the greatest pitchers of all times reduced to the likes of Brian Mcnamee and the Sugar Land Skeeters. Hellbent on trying to prove he’s still The Rocket when literally nobody on the planet cares about him anymore. Hey Roger give it up dude. Your career is over. Legacy, over. Life basically over. Where as most athletes live their life of retirement making up for lost time with their family and their kids enjoying their loved ones, Roger Clemens will forever be trying to scratch and claw his way back to glory. Pathetic. Watching him squirm as the Hall of Fame passes him by year and year, vote after vote is gonna be great.

Now cue the motherfuckin music!