Ryan Lochte’s Mom Says He Only Has Time To Bang Chicks On One Night Stands
NYDN – Ryan Lochte, America’s gold medal-grabbing swimmer in the Olympics this summer apparently only has time for one-night stands, according to an interview with his mother, Ike Lochte, on NBC’s “Today” show. “He goes out on one-night stands,” she explained to Today.com. “He’s not able to give fully to a relationship because he’s always on the go.” The revealing details on the swift swimmer come amidst a deluge of new information on his sexual preferences. Lochte told an interviewer at Women’s Health that he thinks women look hottest in “one of (his) long-sleeve button-down shirts and that’s all.” He also told the interviewer that he thinks women look sexy in white jeans and that he and his male friends trade sex stories. “It’s impossible to know what they’re thinking,” he also said of the opposite gender. “If I could have one superpower, I’d be like Mel Gibson in ‘What Women Want,’ where he reads women’s minds.”
I straight up hate Ryan Lochte. Hate his guts. Don’t even respect him as a person. I don’t even know why I’m so passionate about it. I didn’t even know who he was a week ago and now I hate him with the fire of a thousand suns. First I saw that he wears diamond grills. Then I heard he refers to his own personal style as “Rockstar swagger.”
And now his mom is running around town talking about how all he does is fuck bitches. Can’t stand him or his asshole mother. I feel like he’s Chaz from Wedding Crashers. Banging bitches and yelling to his mom for meatloaf. He just thinks hes so fucking cool meanwhile he’s just the ultimate squid. I realize I sound like a chick and I’m just bashing another dude like a hater but I’ve just never seen someone get so much shine for no reason. Chicks are acting like this dude is a 10 out 10 – dude is a 6 at best. Everyone pairing him with Phelps – guy couldn’t even hold Phelps’ jock. And to top it all off he’s borderline retarded.
I feel like he belongs on Team France or something. Hope the fancy little nancy boy gets smoked by Phelps tonight.
He’s definitely a D-bag but he’s right about the super-power. Reading chick’s minds would save so much money, time and overall hassle.
Definite douche bag, that being said you’re sounding awfuly jealous.
jealous or wants to suck his dick, cant tell — he did give him a 6.
MEAT.HEAD. (expect that he doesn’t know it, as opposed to Gronk who knows exactly what he is)
never heard of this person
He’s gay. Moms is covering for him.
Worst about this asshole is that he is worse than Lebron James in the clutch. Dude fucking has lost everything he was suposed to win. Try winning and then grilling you fuck loser.
the race is at 3pm don’t get why all the barstool writers insist on “live tweeting” shit that’s 6 hours old
I was ready to hate on him but then he throws out What Women Want reference. That movie was the reason I became a Marketing major in college. It’s also why I through on skin toned pannyhoes every now and again.
Also, question for the female stoolies: How many bonus points does a gold medal get you? 1? 2? This is not as applicable to women because as men, we have integrity in the superficial department. You are hot or you aren’t. Sure watching football and blowjobs will have us stick around but we aren’t going to bump you up in the looks ratings because of it.
except chaz from wedding crashers was the man
So the guy is a douche and gets chicks because he excels in an irrelevant sport in where there are no black people…can’t the same be said for every college lacrosse player in America?
Ahhhh, mom, someone should let you know he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend….BECAUSE HE’S GAY!
On point. Fuck him. Comparing him to Phelps is a joke. Phelps in his prime could beat this clown while doing a doggy paddle.
Completely agree, Lochte 20lbs of douche in a 10lb bag. I can’t wait for it to come out that his favorite meal is tubesteak with a side of scrotum and a “protein shake”. This dude fucks hairier ass then Yogi the Bear.
And seriously, this douche got a gold medal and abs but still needs the ability to read women’s minds to get laid? I can tell you right now what they are thinking, “take that dudes dick out of your mouth long enough and ill probably Fuck you.”
Not to mention he got this all wrong. Fuck any superpower, if I could have any one of Mel Gibson’s superpowers it’d have to be either A., the ability to work myself into a frothing level of raging hatred for Jews/women that it makes me impervious to pain, even if it’s Endo shocking the shit out of me. Or B., the ability to single handedly destroy an entire country with only a sword, bagpipes and the greatest pump up speeches in the history of the mankind. Fuck this chooch, he couldn’t carry Phelp’s speedo. Fact, Phelps nails porn stars and then takes them to McDonald’s. Fact, Phelps hits the bong like a man. Fact, Phelps has more medals then anyone else in the history of the Olympics. Fact, Lochte likes it when women dress like dudes. Need I say more?
You know what my favorite thing is for a girl to wear? My dick up her ass. We live in a golden age of whoreishness. The internet and cells phone cameras have made girls the sluttiest they’ve been since the Roman Empire and this guy wants to dress them up in his clothes? Dude got issues.
[...] Ryan Lochte’s mom says he only has time for one-night stands. [...]
did you die a little inside when pres told you that you had to say ‘squid’ in your next post?