NY Daily NewsBeer makes men smarter. So say researchers at the University of Illinois in Chicago. They found that men with a couple beers under their belts were actually better at solving brain-teasers than their sober counterparts. To reach that surprising conclusion, the researchers devised a bar game in which 40 men were given three words and told to come up with a fourth that fits the pattern. For example, the word “cheese” could fit with words like “blue” or “cottage” or “Swiss.” Half the players were given two pints. The other half got nothing. The result? Those who imbibed solved 40% more of the problems that their sober counterparts. Also, the drinkers finished their problems in 12 seconds while it took the non-drinkers 15.5 seconds. “We found at 0.07 blood alcohol, people were worse at working memory tasks, but they were better at creative problem-solving tasks,” psychologist Jennifer Wiley reported. “We have this assumption, that being able to focus on one part of a problem or having a lot of expertise is better for problem solving,” says Wiley. “But that’s not necessarily true. Innovation may happen when people are not so focused. Sometimes it’s good to be distracted.” It may also help explain why raving drunks like Ernest Hemingway, John Cheever or Charles Bukowski were able to write their books. “Sometimes the really creative stuff comes out when you’re having a glass of wine over dinner, or when you’re taking a shower,” Wiley said.

Well consider me a fucking genius! Maybe this explains why I’m so good at games like Taboo and Catch Phrase and blog my dick off every single day. I’m always boozed so my brain is just creative as fuck. You should see me on the Game Show Network when old school re-runs of $50,000 Pyramid are on. I turn down the volume and play with whoever is in the room and I’m fuckin sick with it.

But for real this really doesn’t surprise me at all. No kidding I can answer cheese riddles after I’m a little bit sauced. Everyone is always better at everything after a couple beers. Beer pong? Check. Spitting game to girls? Check. Having sex with girls? DEFINITE check. Gotta give a big speech? Check. Calculating the tip on your bill at the bar? Che…hmm. Lets not go too far. The other day I was shitfaced and signing my receipt and the tip was included and I still fucked up the bill. I guess calculating the tip is just too bland and boring for my shitfaced, creative brain.