Daily MailStudy after study (this piece in Psychology Today has a good, general round up) shows while men pay lip service to being hung up on physical attractiveness, once they interact with a woman in real life, they’re far more swayed by personality than they profess to be. A speed dating experiment (reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology) with 163 university students found ‘spark’ far outweighed looks for men and a subsequent study further confirmed feeling an emotional ‘connection’ won over ‘sexiness’. I saw evidence first hand at a party last week. I was with the new boyfriend of a friend of mine, watching her chatting away to friends, looking positively gorgeous. “How hot is your girlfriend!” I said to him, taking in the slim hips, long thick hair, pert breasts, confident aura. ’I wish everyone would stop telling me how hot she is,’ he responded heavily. ‘I don’t want to be with the hottest girl in the room. It’s not me. I just wanted the nice girl.’ Further investigation (three more beers and a bit of prodding) and he confessed her ‘hotness’ made him feel insecure. ‘I want someone to love me, not feel like every guy in the room is trying to take the person I love away from me.’ Turns out the things women believe make them more appealing to men – good looks, youth, being super confident, intelligent, body perfect – aren’t top of men’s wish list after all. Having an OK figure that’s curvy, looking ‘nice’, appearing kind, listening, being trustworthy, laughing at his jokes and letting him look after you – these are the qualities men most frequently seek in long-term partners. All that striving, all that dieting, all that denying ourselves, when we could have been scoffing cupcakes in the bath, Hannah-style, all along. Chocolate anyone?

Hey girls before you go reading this article and getting fat and ugly because some sex expert says thats what guys like, let me clarify something. Guys don’t prefer fat plain girls. They like hot chicks. Its just that fat plain chicks tend to be nice and not as bitchy. Because they’re ugly. Whereas hot chicks are a pain in the ass because they know they’re hot. So when they are staring down the barrel of committing to a chick long term, they’ll usually settle down with the frumpy nice one rather than the bitchy hot one. The allure of fucking a hot girl wears off pretty quick, hot chicks eventually get ugly anyway, and dealing with a lifetime of complaining ain’t worth it.

Its not like if all things were equal we’re willingly choosing dumpy chicks. Like the guy in that article who had three beers and confessed he wishes his girlfriend was ugly because then nobody would steal her away – he doesn’t represent dudes. He’s either a pussy, a lunatic, or a gay. Or a gay pussy lunatic. Oh you’ve got a hot girlfriend? Who’s a lawyer and makes a lot of money? No kidding other dudes are trying to steal her away. They take one look at this sugar mama smoke and the gayball she’s dating and they want to kick his ass and steal her away. Quit being such a little bitch.

Bottom line is good looks, youth, being super confident, intelligent, body perfect are all most certainly at the top of the list. I guess “Not being a total bitch” trumps all that shit though. Don’t go taking that to mean you can let yourselves go and just laugh at my jokes and be fat and think I’ll be in love. You should trying being hot as well as all that other “nice” and “loving” shit.