NBC New YorkA Siberian man angrily stormed off when his wife served him cold soup — only to get lost in the woods for more than a month, barely managing to survive. “I thought I was going to die. The temperatures were sub-zero and I was getting really weak,” he told local media, the U.K. Daily Mail reported. Yuri Ticuic, 69, ate berries and leaves in the forest and eventually collapsed in a field beside a haystack, which he picked at for sustenance. After over a month of eating hay for food and snow for water, Ticuic was found frost-bitten, weak and crippled by farm workers. They took him to a hospital, where doctors said he was lucky to have survived and may have to have his severely frostbitten legs amputated. “No matter what happens, that’s the last time I criticize my wife’s cooking. Anything is better than hay grain,” he said.

I’d love to sit down with Mrs. Ticuic, no? Mrs. Ticuic was it too much to ask to have the soup served hot? Is that too outlandish of a request? Because now your husband needs to have his legs amputated. How does that make you feel? You’re a goddam Siberian housewife. What else do you have to do with your time than make sure the soup is warm? Were you in a rush to go meet the girls for a martini at happy hour? Did you have a tennis lesson at the country club? Did you need to hit the mall to pick up a new pair of Louboutins? No. Because you live in fucking Siberia. Basically your only concern is survival and making sure you put a warm meal on the table for your husband’s survival. And if he can’t get that from you, he might as well go live in the wilderness. Amongst nature eating hay and berries. Probably just as satisfying as your cold ass soup.

Hope your happy with yourself, toots. Because just a month ago you were a failure of a housewife who couldn’t even serve hot soup. Now you’re a failure of a housewife who couldn’t even serve hot soup who has a husband with no legs. Good work.