MSNBC- SEOUL — Six leaders from South Korea’s biggest Buddhist order have quit after secret video footage showed some supposedly serene monks raising hell, playing high-stakes poker, drinking and smoking. The scandal erupted just days before Koreans observe a national holiday to celebrate the birth of Buddha, the holiest day of the religion’s calendar. The head of the Jogye order, which has some 10 million followers, or about a fifth of the country’s population, made a public apology on Friday, vowing “self-repentance.”South Korean TV networks aired shots of eight monks playing poker, some smoking and drinking, after gathering at a luxury lakeside hotel in late April for a fellow monk’s memorial service.“The stakes for 13 hours of gambling were more than 1 billion won ($875,300),” Seongho, a senior monk who uses one name, told Reuters on Friday.

I knew it. Fucking monks, man. With their holier-than-thou bullshit and pretending they’re better than all of us because they live the divine life. But looky here; they’re just a couple’a joes trying to have a good time like the rest of us. I bet they listen to Call Me Maybe on loop too. Who’s the asshole that whipped his camera phone out during this night of debauchery? Such a chick move. “Yo, yo Seongho. Do that trick with the bottle again. I wanna Instagram this.” I’d be so pissed if I got tagged in this asshole’s album- bet he named it like a chick too: Spring Break 2011- Monks Were Meant to Fly!! Not gonna lie though, I was kinda disappointed when I saw the video. I was expecting some serious Hangover shit. Where’s Buddhist Heather Graham? The fact that not one of these monks ended up on the roof of their temple, sunburnt to shit is embarrassing. Looks like a group of 6th graders playing Uno. Someone get these monks some Chex Mix so they can complete their slumber party.

The real question is how are Monks just casually gambling nearly $1 Million in a luxury lakeside hotel? Up until this point, I thought being a monk was a not-for-profit kinda gig and I respected that. But when you find out that 8 monks are each bringing over $100,000 to a friendly poker game, your view of these hooded degenerates gets a bit skewed. And I love that this scandal came out a couple days before the “holiest day of the religion’s calendar.” That would be like me eating a bacon egg and cheese and stopping to get a tattoo of Jesus on my way home for Passover dinner.

P.S.- Margarine Cole and her orange sweater vest can definitely get it.