“Will suck dick for Klout”

Espn- Speaking on “First Take” on Wednesday morning, Bayless said, “I am shocked by what I’m seeing from Derek Jeter right now. They all said he was washed up. All of a sudden, this man has turned 38 years of age in June and already he has more hits than he had last year. … I’m seeing a whole new guy this year from last year … Are you kidding me? You would have to have your head in the sand or your head somewhere else not to at least wonder, ‘How is he doing this?’ ” When Bayless’ remarks were presented to Jeter in the clubhouse before Wednesday night’s game against the Chicago White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field, the Yankees’ captain smiled and spread his arms in bemusement. “What do you want me to say?” he said. “Maybe Skip should be tested. I don’t know him, but … ” … Jeter said he hadn’t viewed “First Take,” nor had he heard about Bayless’ statements. “That’s the unfortunate thing these days,” he said. “Anytime you bring this to light with guys that are doing things now, you have everybody questioning everything. You can say whatever you want to say these days. No repercussions.”

It pains me to even write this because that’s exactly what Skip wants. Google hits, page views, trends, fucking Klout. It’s all about klout. So congratulations, Skip! Here’s you 5,000th 15 minute block of fame for saying something outrageously asinine. But this is nothing new. The guy has made an entire career out of voicing the unpopular opinion just to provoke the masses and get a rise out big name athletes. That’s a deplorable fucking attempt at attracting eyes to your work and it takes a despicable piece of journalistic trash to do something like that.

It’s no secret that I would take Jeter deep into my loins. Schoolgirl crush aside, even the biggest Yankee haters have to accept how stupid Bayless’s statement was. On the heels of the Melky Cabrera and Bartolo Colon accusations, he points a finger at Jeter’s recent success and questions the possibility of PEDs. First of all, if it ever turns out that Jeter was even in the same room as any type of juice, it would be the most detrimental news to hit baseball since Pete Rose’s gambling allegations. It’s okay to wonder where his career bounce-back came from, but if your mind wanders toward cheating, bottle that shit up. Mum’s the Goddamn word. Nearly two decades of gamesmanship, professionalism, and post-fuck gift basket distribution has earned Derek immunity to even the slightest breath of a steroid accusation. Bayless was trying to land a blow across Jeter’s bow, ruffle his feathers, and get his own name on the SportsCenter Rundown. And you know what? I bet it works. Ah well done, Skip! Ya bullshitted a bullshiter! In typical Captain fashion, however, #2 rebutted with a Jeterian response: “Maybe Skip should be tested. I don’t know him, but … ” Game. Set. Jeter.